Downpour of the mind

a 3rd grader/debaters' irony

2011-07-25T23:01:00.004+07:00

heyyyyyyyy am finally, officially at my last year, again. part of twelve social two now hahaha i like the classmates, tho i don't really very much fancy the number "two" hahaha i like being the first :p right, i decided not to write my nsdc chronicles, too many vague and bad memories, though the good ones are also numerous, but the most memorable one is that of the most painful *sigh. i'd better not go there.soooooooooooooooo, twelfth grade.

have officially got on board of the last stage of formal-education-in-uniform. have i made the most of it? diverged responses pop up in my brain. there are 'yes'-es, 'no'-s, and 'yes, but i want more'-s! truth is, i don't think in the long run we should really care that much about what happens in high school. but, in contradiction to myself, i for one always stood up for the necessity of the present. i guess, for me, it's all about inclinations. i can't deny my wanting to go to worlds, i can't deny my wanting to be at the top of my class. is it pure human nature or is it just me? i sometimes find this heart-sickening, to have this altruistic motive: to be nice to everyone, to make everyone better off by my existence. while at the same time i can't deny how my own personal ambitions and goals and perspective rejects the very idea................

but yeah. topic. am ineffectively using words now.

i miss debating and i'm sick of how my current life's retracting me from it. it wears me off, those people who gives me the slightest hint that i should give it up. why can't people i'm fond of share the same interest like, forever? why should there even be all this friggin pressure of being a third grader?? for crapsake can these people just give us a break? make the learning process more fun? damn that educational institution, with all its obsolete educational workers and disdainful attributes. ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhope i'm done with it, fastest way possible

beforehands :)

2011-06-08T16:57:00.005+07:00

this time, we're not affiliated with our schools. this time, we came by the name of our province.

so i came under the name of DKI Jakarta................. how proud's that? hahaha one of my dreams came true. once i came to think of it, it felt ecstatic. it's like all the work prayers effort rants tears laughters finally paid off. i made it to the nationals. now i know how New Directions felt. i guess it's not over-rated to say that it's one of the most life-changing competitions i've ever encountered. no idea why, i mean i enjoyed pedc and binus ecom and alsa... but this one's just different. twas a really balanced proportion of both sense of competition and fun at the same time and it's for a week!!!! a week off school, a week off parental control hahaha a week of debate, a week with debaters from all around indonesia! really was a great experience, no kidding man! i guess the thing was, there's a strange sense of relief/utter fun when you see your friends/competitors during nsdc, instead of that pressure in other competitions. i guess the rule of "one debate at a time" from hokka really applied in this competition for me, i enjoyed every debate, though i'm aware of the my burden, i confide in myself that i'll be able to make the best of my performances (eventually i did :D). i guess at the end of the day we became really attached to each others' randomness, craziness, funny sides and other personalities. we've become a community attached by the thing we love doing, debate (quoting Alif). i recommend every tenth grader debater who really loves to debate to join nsdc next year, oh that means you oughtta join the selection this year! :D

this is just the preambule. hopefully, i'll come up sooner (or later) with my nsdc chronicles

ah yes, in this competition i also got the chance to put more in mind issues regarding team strategy, thus it results into me spreading my wings into 2nd speaker land hahahaha it's kinda nice speculating what strategy you oughtta use for next debates, which involves walking around at the back of the debs hall, earphones plugged in, calculating possibilities in ramblings :p

this picture shows each of our interpretation of what DKI Jakarta's "traditional costume" is

we looked fancy at first, until we were told to go on a treasure hunt for the breaking team's list

it meant a lot

achieved!

2011-06-08T16:46:00.004+07:00

thank you God, thank you mom&dad&Glenny, thank you Mita, thank you Ruth, thank you Gabby, thank you Hokka, thank you Lieke, thank you Dennys, thank you adjudicators and respected opponents from 2009 up to 2011, thank you my personal inspirational debaters (high school & varsity), thank you sman 81, thank you Teddy&Bryan, and of course, thank you my irreplaceable NSDC 2011 mates

how one's nocturnal activity affects my life and other thingamajigarooga

2011-04-04T14:49:00.011+07:00

hi! i'm here! am gonna write again about my fave, Adam. Randal. Young. forgive my unceasing admiration towards him :) so yea thing is, Owl City just made a new album!!! tis called All Things Beautiful and Bright. sounds very optimistic eh?

.............................................................................

CAN ANYBODY ALIVE GET ME THAT ALBUM?????? intermezzo

just heard one track from it, alligator sky hahahah as usual, he still got the wits. but this time he's gone quite a bit more accoustic but he's still fancy (tellya what, in this track, he collaborated with a rapper-_-) uu uu uu but what i wanna tell you is one song he dedicated to me! (?) it's from his other project, Sky Sailing, the music project he had started before Owl City, with a cute title for his album, An Airplane Carried Me To Bed, signalling he, again, made it during his insomniac hours of life. the song's called Brielle. care for a sneak peek at the chorus?

Goodbye Brielle

Only whispers can tell
Of the sweet dreams that we knew so well
I'll see you around our dear ocean town
The frozen days we set ablaze
Sent me drifting away
Like a butterfly, you floated by and now you're alone
I wish I knew when I'll be back again
So until then I wish you well
My dear Brielle

hahahah well yea, i don't really recognize the brielle brielle part at first but then i had this sudden epiphany (or tis when i entered the state of utter delirium, it's still debatable) that brielle can be "fitted" into my first name. HAHAHA well yea don't blame my imagination. it's nice for once to feel like someone you admire very much is actually singing for you, or that any of his/her song has any slightest connection to you, a decent commoner :') oooh don't i just love you adam! oh and thing is i've been downloading a whole bunch of his songs now to prepare for his arrival in Jakarta. geez it's not even a fixed date or anything yet, i'm just preparing. i've never been anxious for someone's concert before. sure thing, i missed we the kings -_________- (FAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRKKKKKKKK) but i won't miss owl city. right, and by preparing i mean downloading, listening to em, and trying to encrypt the lyrics into my braincells ulalalalala oh and one quick fact about adam please please please.............. he's a devoted Christian! check out this song, In Christ Alone. we. are. meant. to. be. in. another. world :') oh oh oh and he made a track along with armin van buuren, Youtopia hihihi ain't it just cool or what.

that's the slimy slick about adam, now about alsa. HAHAHAH GUESS WHAT? i converted alsa's regis form, from pdf to word! at first i used the service provided by pdftoword.com, but it took like ages for my files to be converted and sent to my email, referring to its statement saying "please check your mailbox shortly (or i guess it was another form of diction that makes you think "I'LL OPEN UP MY MAILBOX IN A NEW TAB AND BINGO I'LL FIND MY NEWLY CONVERTED FILE!!!! HURRAH!")" when i did open it, and refreshed it nearly 10 times, the stinking file's still not there. so the disappointed me tried again and found a second website, zamz*r.com (it's censored, cuz i'm quite unsatisfied with the result of it). this one's conversion ladies and gentlemen, came in a jiffy to my mailbox. i praised God for it. but when i opened it.........................hell broke lose. it just did-_- why? the fonts and formats in word was not in order thus didn't make it look anything like the original pdf file. ulalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa so in despair, i tried to fix em all. i tried to speculate which font matches the original pdf file for the title, subtitle etc. but every man has their breaking point, even the strongest one like me and the lady in Fair Game. so i gave up, and continued my netting activity on this fun leisure day of monday. after a few hours or minutes, i forgot, i had the urge to check on my inbox, i noticed the number of mails in my inbox had increased, reckoning it's from indodebs again. but just like a kid who'd been praying for a gift from santa, i felt the sudden burst of happiness when i found that pdftoword FINALLY gave me my email. thank Heavens this one file worked out waaaay better than the first. i only needed to fill up the blanks, no need for any significant amendments! soooooooo, choose pdftoword.com for your one stop file converter (though-it-takes-a-helluva-long-time)!

alsa committee's been hot on my trails (creative visualization) on getting 81's registration requirements. but like other schools i know and am in contact with, name them cc and tangsel, i or should i say, me and my respected contingent also haven't done the registration any form of sufficient commitment so well yea hehe it's hard to control and hold down debaters, that's what i'll say if i'd had the chance to defend myself in a not so well a manner:] (experience: competition, code: a bowl, the competition's main tagline lalala)

nowwwwwwwwwwwww i gotta watch social network or die, or continue on reading to kill a mockingbird, or research (yuck) right, not now not today-_- TOODLES!

2011-03-31T20:19:00.002+07:00

it's twelve o' clock and i need your attention

it's like the alcohol making my head spin

your scent is the rum ,the room is the bottle

keeping me hopeless til i wake tomorrow

and if tonight ever makes a difference

the way that i feel the way that i remember it

i take this down until the glass remain

swallow the words that i was meant to say

its a long drive back to vegas skies

so why don't i make one more wrong turn tonight?

so say goodnight our first goodbye

i've only got forever and forever is fine

just take youuuuuur time

we'll stop the clock together and know that the timing was right

all of these guards they stand tall and defensive

putting up walls around what was once innocent

they won't let me in but i'm stronger than that

cuz you stole my eyes and i never look back

girl last night i forgot to mention

the way that i feel the way that i remember it

we're this young we have nothing to lose just a clock to beat and a hand to choose

it's a long drive back to vegas skies

so why don't i make one more wrong turn tonight?

say goodnight, our first goodbye

i've only got forever and forever is fine

just take your time

we'll stop the clock together and know that the timing was right

it's a long way down just fall into place and you'll fall into me

we'll make it out

you'll see

i scream for ice cream

2011-01-31T17:38:00.004+07:00

i'm baskin's citrus twist, vanilla, chocolate mousse royal, and world class chocolate.

i'm new zealand's spotty dog, chocolate ecstasy, and strawberry and cream.

i'm haagen-dazs' cookies & cream, chocolate, and vanilla.

i'm cold stone's banana, chocolate, and sweet cream.

i'm a loyal banana split

i'm mcd's ice cream cone and chocolate swirl

i'm kfc's waffle sundae choco crumbs

i'm wall's trico, twister, conello classic, populaire, cornetto mini, moo, moo cone, and all the other old-time ice cream whose name i stinking forgot but taste i still long.

top me up with m&m's, twister minis, waffles, ice cream sandwich, chocolate chip, and chocolate syrup.

(though i'm) tired out, (and there's) not a miracle in days

2011-01-28T16:06:00.004+07:00

i'm not quitting. i'm getting used to the emotional roller-coaster anyways. despite the downfall, the joy that's attained is just too overwhelming. the kind of joy i never felt before. so yea, it brings lotsa good impacts in my life. and if in the end i decide to simply dedicate my high school life to it, i guess it won't be for nothing, i believe it won't be for nothing. regardless what may seem, i believe i'm on my way of getting back on the right track. i'll shut my eyes and ears in some crucial circumstances, if that's what it takes. huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nsdc, here i come! :D

twenty

2011-01-06T01:24:00.004+07:00

tonight i reallyyyyyyy miss you guys. ngescroll foto-foto pas smp dan asli gak pernah kangennya sekangen sekarang. gue kangen banget masa-masa carefree ama kalian wey! tiap hari adaaa aja lawakannya, kalo berantem masih kea bocah yang ujung2nya baikan lagi walaupun kea gimana gimana gitu tapi tetep aja ujung2nya sekut dan malah ketawa2 lagi kangen 7a, 8a, 9b. gak boong 3 taon rasanya cepet banget, sekarang udah sma. kebawa banget ama yang namanya mikirin masa depan. emang harus tambah dewasa kali ya. tapi gak bisa no no no gue masih mau ama kaliannnnnnnnnnn. makasih atas lawakan-lawakan kasar binti frontal tapi bener2 bikin gue ngerasa that i'm a part of ya guys. thanks banget buat sesi-sesi curhat, lawakan, gosip2, unyu-unyuan, awkward, berantem2an. kita dikit banget emang ya 48an doang. berapa sih sekelas elah cuman 20an hahaha tapi 10 aja udah bacot ya kalian mah hahaha kangen juga loh rusuh bareng sama guru, euphoria db cup, urusan ama kakak kelas adek kelas, persiapan uan, jalan-jalan, cabut di kelas 3 pas mandarin, ngefans gila ama kakak kelas, traktiran, birthday surprises, kunjungan di kala sakit, dan segala macem. terimakasih untuk sobat-sobat, mantan pacar, dan mantan kakak. AHHHHHHHHHH TIDAKKKKKKK! SUNGGUH, UNTUK MALAM INI AKU INGIN SEKALI KEMBALI KE MASA-MASA SMP BARENG KALIANNNNNNNN UWUWUWU. coba besok bisa bangun jam 6, berangkat setengah 7, masuk tol, keluar tol, muter balik, sebelom jembatan belok kiri, masuk lobby, turun, merutuki sekolah tetangga, nyampe dikelas, naro tas di depan kelas, duduk, dengerin ipod, tidur-tiduran, lawak-lawakan, kring bel bunyi, males-malesan, nunggu guru dateng, baris, make dasi iket pinggang, salam guru, duduk, ngobrol, bedoa cekikikan, mulai belajar. DAN OIYA! gue kangen banget bawain biskuit dan makanan dan lalala buat kalian (esp. cowok2 9b edric albert keva rudolf dave andrew evan HAHAHAHHAHAHA KANGEN THE AUTISSSSSS!). ngeliat kalian makan itu rasanya seneng! wkekewkekwekweke hmmmmmmmm twenty, forever ya. no kidding, you guys are the best! :')

loveya <3

cella marcia amy nita monica jingga rayrinka marin sandy kevin hilly tyana albert edric dave rudolf dea roosmin tricia diela adit echo jerry gusnawi fitri wahyu evan ribka venna ewin daniel rheno andrew ryan-kucing robby ryan ryan alexander jo'a alva myron renna manta esta palupi cherry yudha yudhis

reasons ;)

2010-12-31T04:38:00.000+07:00

Against that time (if ever that time come)
When I shall see thee frown on my defects,
When as thy love hath cast his utmost sum,
Called to that audit by advised respects—
Against that time when thou shalt strangely pass,
And scarcely greet me with that sun, thine eye,
When love, converted from the thing it was,
Shall reasons find of settled gravity—
Against that time do I ensconce me here
Within the knowledge of mine own desert,
And this my hand against myself uprear,
To guard the lawful reasons on thy part.
To leave poor me thou has the strength of laws,
Since why to love I can allege no cause.
(1609)

utter boredom and craving of understanding the more concrete objective of my life

2010-12-29T00:59:00.010+07:00

why hello there. it's been quite a mind-boggling holiday for me. some ways pathetic, some ways depressing, some ways satisfying, some ways great. soooo how to start things off. well i indulged myself in some exhilarating activities on my own, such as doing a movie marathon at the movies. yay! something i haven't done in a quite long time,and i'm also in the midst of finishing of this cool novel (just so that i can hop into another escapade story), i treated myself (well technically it's my mom and dad who did, but hey i picked my own treat) by getting me 3 20% off books in a comfy japanese bookstore *heaven angels choir sings*, got my head all smuggled up with *heavy* matters of current and future issues gah how am i enjoying this holiday then you may ask, seeing how i apt to thinking about them matters continuously when there're no distractions available. so yea i enjoy my holiday simply by waking up late (damn late), and sleeping late (damn late). simply that, makes my feel blissful, it's like i attain the privilege of enjoying the extra time of the day (that sense provided by the act of sleeping late, 24 hrs is just somewhat not enough. indescribable), cuz during that time i get this epic nuance of solitude, i get to read and watch movie in a somewhat more solemn surrounding. see it's like my active living hours' shifted but yea basically that's what happens in every holiday of mine, but i don't quite know what makes this one different. maybe because this holiday is even more hollow and unexciting as the last one, nah it's cuz the matters in my head is getting more essential and unsolvable and stuff. life, y u no getting easier? oh and well yea i'm happy enough these days to get the right answers on each questions of "The Official SAT Question of The Day". i give myself pressure just like one of the characters in the prince of tennis which i used to love reading. gah i'm rambling. go on i must. well yea so what makes want to write this random post is cuz i was having a dead end on which color of nail-polish i'd better choose to polish on my nails. i personally reaaaaally am fond of this gorgeous light blue color which of course i already polished just last night on both my hands' nails. but today it somehow wrecked itself *shifting the blame* so yea i aseton-ed em all and tried to polish em one more time. BUT IT FAILED! long story short i managed to polish neatly on my left hand, the problem goes to the right hand of which i lack capability of polishing on because i was to use my left hand. so dammit now i choose to not use that stinking light blue color cuz the brush is oh so of bad quality. so yea i narrowed down the color choice to three, blue (a darker blue than the light blue), purple, or pink. finally i chose purple. yea end of story. hiks so yea why i'm so sullen lately......... i friggin learnt a heck lotta new words to be added to my vocab from this cool-novel-i'm-still-pathetically-reading-since-weeks-ago-cuz-the-story-got-interesting-just-recently-and-not-weeks-ago-but-the-character-is-actually-smart-and-witty-from-the-beginning-though-*sigh*-twas-i-who-was-just-simply-unmotivated-at-that-time, butttttttttttttttttttttttttttt as my memory capacity decreases, those words and their lovely meanings are gone. so yea i hate my head. feel like bangin em if only pain does not exist in the world. and i think my head's aching cuz i've been sniffing on this chemical substance contained inside these friggin nail-polishing liquids. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i'm so unstable. it's okay. i guess it's cuz i'm still 16. i "still assume the best in people", quoting burt hummel's words. well i guess, i always will. wohoo! long live forever young. not.

OYEA ONE LAST RANDOM STATEMENT. I REALLY CAN'T WAIT TO MAJOR IN PSYCHOLOGY. that's basically what my childhood dream is. thanks to torey hayden and the appaling synopsis of her book that arouses the curiosity of this once 6 year old girl. oyea, i still remember sheila's story. tho in just a fuzzy memory but i remember well how that synopsis attracted me each time i go to the bookstore, and also in each visit, i tried to gather my courage to ask dad to get me that book. hahahhaha first times he kept on declining (seeing how i foolishly told him of what the story was about, from what i read from the synopsis. hhhhh i wasn't fully aware of the art of "persuading one's parents to buy something one's parents won't buy if one's parents are aware of the contents" at that time -___________________-). i forgot how eventually he agreed to get me the book. damn right i was happy, and i just couldn't stop waiting to dip myself into her upcoming books regarding kids with mental deprivation. that's how psychology drilled (and i finally discovered that it always sticks there,) in my mind. i want to understand why people behave with their own peculiarities. i had my own list of people i wanted to check up on once i attain adequate knowledge in this field hahahah twas a stupid list but.......yeah simply stupid. hahahah

so yea contemplations on this holiday:

you get what you need, not necessarily what you want.
don't give a damn about other people unless you're feeling empathic towards em cuz if not, i suppose you'll have the tendency to just make things worse so it's better to not do anything about everything.
all those quotes of never letting go of your dreams, you can achieve what you want, never let people say you can't achieve your dream --> oh yea baby i'm so gripping on this one.
God is great.
you can't please everybody, so yea it's an easy equation, just please yourself. no one actually cares about you anyway. each man for himself.
be afraid to be happy or to love or any other blissful feelings. in a split second, it may be taken away from you, the world will fall over you. refrain yourself from agony. if you can't overcome that risk, better get used to monochromity, at least it's a stable form of bleakness. all in all, be careful and beware.
i love my dad, he's the one i found up til now who actually truly believes in me til at some point i am actually able to believe in myself that i am able of achieving. (but at some points also, i link back this feeling to the previous point). keep it up dad! but if you can, less pep talks please, you always give a very long one after i utter a single one-breath statement ~_~

don't i sound like such a negative person already? yearite, too much heavy loads.

i demand a 711's small cup, if not medium or least of all large cup, of steaming hot chocolate.

10 things i hate about you

2010-12-19T02:30:00.003+07:00

"i hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair.
i hate the way you drive my car,
i hate it when you stare.
i hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
i hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.
i hate the way you're always right,
i hate it when you lie.
i hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
i hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
but mostly I hate the way I don't hate you; not even close; not even a little bit; not even at all."

-Kat Stratford

gingerbread....

2010-12-15T13:31:00.000+07:00

singapore

2010-12-15T00:31:00.009+07:00

aaaaaaa one of the most unforgettable journey i've ever encountered. no, really it's like it's a fresh new kinda breeze that swept me from my daily routines (even from debatopia :p) can't say that i wasn't tempted to stick to this kinda life hahaha but who wouldn't when you get the chance to enjoy this fine city with nearly 40 other great socially active people? aaaaaa i really love you guys, social emerald! well what made me go this melancholic is simple, the pictures of our time there that's scattered all over our facebook photo albums :p

so yea, let's do some downright recollection. the plane was delayed. dammit. i won't mention......... well it's the name of a doomed kingdom of Indonesia (my friend said it's a bad karma to use that name thus results to the poor service of this company, yea regardless the kingdom was once very prosperous and stuff-_- but thank god i had a decent superb time with my seat-mates, Kara & Diani, we really went through the ups and downs and bumps together along the way) so guess what? the trip to NUS was an epic failure. we only went around the campus grounds. saw the exterior of the buildings, and finally they let us out to take pictures in front of the university hall. that.was.it.ladies and gentlemen. thus concluded my long-anticipated visit to NUS, which was only as brief as the length of flight from jakarta to bandung. so long NUS' sweater......................... well yea but afterwards, we went to bugis street! wohoooooo i did some hunting with my pal, Diani. we were so damn eager to find "beneficial" deals on watches. oh yes, we snatched more than we bargained for, eventually :p but that's okelah. kapan lagi jam modelnya mirip swatch harganya 3 dollarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr uwuwuwu and i got a pair of cute shoes (source: Nike). we were the late-comers when we got on the bus but it's okelahhhh^^ in the end we had dinner. afterwards...................................

hotel. at geylang. red light district. what a view.

in the morning, we got ready. first destination, marina baaaaaaay! take pictures at the ever-spitting merlion. lalalalalala finally......................UNIVERSAL STUDIOS! wohoooo caught a magnificent ride at the mummy! took lotsa pictures, and of course........................got myself another watch. yay! this time it's from shrek --> donkey, the color's neutral: gray. aaaaaaaa i was happy! well that actually was the climax for me and my friends. we've been yearning to have one of those cute watches on our wrists. i saw a cute one from madagascar, the character's, again, the penguin (i forgot the name, it started with a "K"). it was the cutest light blue color ever. but they ran out of stock. i felt like breaking down for a brief moment. but it's okelah. (further note: Nike said she saw a friend of mine actually wearing that one, the one that should be out of stock, just yesterday. at school. *faintsafternyilet*) after that, i finally watched something worthwhile, songs of the sea. aaaaaaaa twas cool! layar tancep aja kalah.................................. iyalah soalnya ini layar tancepnya pake aer-_- i took pics you know when the lighting shaded to blue color aaaaaa twas amazing, terrific, bravo! and well yea, that concluded day two. oh but stupid thing happened that night.

i was on the 7th floor. i forgot what i was doing and what i was going to do. but i remembered that i intended to go to the 5th floor. OH RITE! i wanted to go Mustafa or something, but it wasn't actually allowed to go out at that time, so i was, like, gathering allies that resided on specific floors. i think i was gonna fetch a pal on 5th floor. so, i wanted to "travel" by stairs (i don't know what made do that). i took the stairs on 7th floor. went down 2 stories. when i tried to open the door on the 5th floor, it won't budge. (*&#@*(!@#&$#^*@& i started to panic, thinking of claustrophobias even when i believe that i don't have that kinda phobia and the truth was it was still spacious -_- so i (wanted to) believe that that specific door was somewhat broken. i ran back up to 7th floor. but the premonition was all correct. i assumed that the doors were built that way (as of what i've imagined i've seen in movies). so i took an unnerving attempt of sticking my face on the window of the 5th floor exit door, hoping that someone would pass and eventually let me out (ironically i heard the voices of my friends laughing in the room just in front of the exit door T_T). but i couldn't wait. i suppose i had to do something on my own. so i did the most desperate attempt......................................................... i ran all the way down to the 1st floor. hoping for at least that one door to be open-able-_-. thank God it was. so i ended up being at the back of the hotel building. i took the main entrance. hallelujah, there were still teachers conferring. i was wearing jeans and shirt. yes, they thought i was trying to go out (read: Mustafa), cuz earlier that night i asked them whether we could go or not, and the request was eventually declined -_- but i chose to be honest (personally i claim this as a smart and wise move -_--), i told them the (embarrassing) truth cuz i was so not in the mood to "bersilat lidah".

oh but yea, the crucial thing was that, at that night, my name was mentioned on the "extend" list. it was the list of students who prolong their stay (because initially our trip was for 3 days only). initially i was on that list, but when bakrie comp's information popped on my lappie monitor days before my departure to singapore i did everything i could to get myself off that list. but, evil nearly got the best of me. i was tempted to not bother my name's appearance in that list. yes, i wanted to extend and ditch bakrie. but fate, in this case, my teachers STRONGLY wanted me off the "extend" list. GEEZ MAAAAAAN! so yea, in the end evil was sent back to hell. i went home the following day.

last day hiks was really eager not to go back home, if not for the competition (but there's an ironic part after this). went to china town. was happy. and at last, arrived at changi. (even during check-in, i sense some trouble. i heard the check-in girl kinda said that my name was not on the flight, then she reported to her senior about this, the senior kinda said "put in on the go-show list". after a few minutes of typing and clicking, the girl came back to her senior and kinda said "there're no seats left for go-show". i felt like i was mentally preparing myself to be ready to be smuggled in the baggage. but eventually, from the girl's magic handworks i attain my boarding pass and ticket). finally, we got into the immigration. i instantly searched for t-shirts from giordano with this awesome deal you only get at singapore!!!! wohooo finally i got nearly everything from my compulsory list (giordano t-shirts, universal watch, and one that got left behind: some wardrobe collection from cotton on T____T). and guess how my trip ended................. the flight was again delayed-_- but this time it was quite okay though, i got a chance to get giordano and had a burger king lunch (my coca cola was detained by the officials cuz i stupidly grabbed the value meal T________T)

and when i finally reached jakarta, i was so damn bored that i uploaded pictures straightaway. and the heart-wrenching news was.......................................the real competition starts on 10th. so i sacrificed my extra day in singapore only for the debating seminar and exhibition session of the competition, and not the real debating rounds. me and Mita were kinda devastated, really hahaha but yea it happened. so i ended up going galau with Lukman at the night. we really wanted to come back to singapore. i for one would really love to go back there with my social emerald, Alejandro and Macademian. haaaaaa but congrat's social! we're the first ones from SMAN 81 to ever set foot abroad by the name of "study tour" ^^

kata cekgu "kita jalan ke merlion dan harus foto disana. supaya ada bukti kalo kita benar-benar sudah menginjakkan kaki di singapur" okelah. ini buktinya~

1.05

2010-12-14T00:31:00.007+07:00

i'm still up. even at the time when everyone should be sound asleep, i'm still feeling insecure. not just it, i'm fed up. confused and mind-boggled in assumptions. it revolves around a boy, a lady, and men.

see, whenever the boy's around, he shuts his mouth up. whenever he's not around, i talk to his hand.

whenever the lady's around, she communicates and i feel uneasy. whenever the lady's not around for a supposedly short period of time, the way she communicates is bizzare and i become a busybody. whenever the lady's not around for a long time, i feel somewhat secure, getting used to the idea of no longer living with her and thus eradicating all my queasiness of thinking that she's hiding the truth.

one of the men is never around, but by his existence only (in God knows where), he takes away all the lady's attentions, influences the way the lady caresses, spell-binds her with her communicative utilities. that one man makes me really wants to rip him off when i see him. my feelings said i already did encounter him. i suppose i managed to give him my utmost unfriendly, disgusted and despicable facial expression. i might smother him next time after i spat on him when i attain proof.

and the last man. i think he's just like me in some extent.

i'll keep it this way. am afraid that going to any further extent might crumble down everything i believe in. and i don't want that to happen. each man for himself.

astaga udah pagi-_-

2010-12-14T00:22:00.002+07:00

i'll be your dream i'll be your wish i'll be your fantasy

i'll be your hope i'll be your love be everything that you need

i love you more with every breath truly madly deeply too

i will be strong i will be faithful cause i'm counting on a new beginning

a reason for living a deeper meaning yea

i wanna stand with you on a mountain

i wanna bathe with you in the sea

i wanna lay like this forever

until the sky falls down on me

and when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky

i'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry

the tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty

and we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of the highest power

in lonely hours the tears devour you

i wanna stand with you on a mountain

i wanna bathe with you in the sea

i wanna lay like this forever

until the sky falls down on me

oh can you see it baby?

don't have to close your eyes

it's standing right before you

all that you need will surely come

i'll be your dream i'll be your wish i'll be your fantasy

i'll be your hope i'll be your love be everything that you need

i love you more with every breath truly madly deeply too

i wanna stand with you on a mountain

i wanna bathe with you in the sea

i wanna lay like this forever

until the sky falls down on me

i wanna stand with you on a mountain

i wanna bathe with you in the sea

i want to live like this forever

until the sky falls down on me

4' 36''

how debating change my life

2010-11-18T22:02:00.004+07:00

this is written out of utter randomness in order to alleviate thoughts that i don't wanna think of in order to refrain myself from uneasiness, queasiness, and agony.

1. i find it much more beneficial (in other words, fun, satisfying, and pleasing) to spend my saturday night in a debating competition venue, watching people talk, talk back, and being talked back to.

2. i skip school for the sake of debating. ended up with a trophy and came up with "tangible words of achievements" for the (so-called) teachers and educators, and they are being, what i call, supportive. thus perpetuates my eagerness and passion to do it, skipping school for the sake of debating.

3. i've increased courage to talk back to people (sometimes).

4. i mumble "hear-hear" or "shame-shame" whenever i hear or read a statement being claimed. in other words, i become more "expressive".

5. i gain a living. (oh yes i do)

6. i know more about routes in jakarta and am proud of it.

7. i feel a little bit mature, independent, i feel like being a minor environmental-saviour, i feel like i'm more efficient and sufficient in money spending when it comes to commuting. for i am now a huge fan of public transportation.

8. i know the location of faculties in UI. i can make my way through UI.

9. my ways of views shift.

10. i meet (and know) great, outstanding, unforgettable, lovable, incredible, fun, labil, scary, worthy-to-be-idolized, pretty, handsome, crazy, dummy, annoying people. bottomline is, they really are something to be remembered.

11. i know a number of remarkable university canteens. yes, great food affordable price :')

12. after a competition ends, i crave for another one to come up soon.

13. i now have greater goals in life.

14. i am no longer a great big fan of my country.

15. my vocabulary increases.

16. i can talk in front of people for around 7 minutes time. that's some confident-booster i tell ya!

17. i become more persuasive and it has come into use quite often.

18. i am proud for being able to overcome school bureaucracy with perseverance when asking for permissions and stuff.

19. i skip classes, i spend recess time, i got home late just for the sake of talking about political, economical, environmental, international, national, and other random issues, gossiping (positive gossips), talking about future thingamajigs, even talking about melancholic things.......................... and eventually laughing out loud at the fact that i conduct those things along with my closest comrades in 81's debating society. and of course, we just laugh all the way because of a lot of other things. :)

20. i find it fun to try to convince people that i'm right, in a persuasive and diplomatic manner.

21. i stay up late just for the sake of not wanting to miss a moment of bliss when gathering with my debate-mates.

22. i become a representative of a region.

23. i enjoy great foods, and great leisure time by doing mall-hopping.

24. i read more (scientifical) books and watch more (documentary) movies.

25. i enjoy experiencing a sense of panic, adrenaline-rush, and excitement simultaneously in 30 minutes, 15 minutes, or in some cases, 7 minutes time.

26. i feel proud for standing up for something. and i enjoy the emotional-attachment i usually attain when i conduct it.

27. i can survive heavy-talk conversations, and sometimes ended up loving the issue with all its complexity.

28. i feel appreciative towards people and i myself feel appreciated.

29. i know how strong drugs or other addictive substantives work, for now i feel like i can never take debating outta my life if not with extreme measures. just like how rehab works for drug junkies.

30. i found an activity that i really enjoy doing, and am thinking of never setting us apart. yes, i freakishly sound like someone in love.

for i feel like i'm having the times of my life when i debate. high school is officially bearable. i'm a one happy high-school debater. :)

on one depressing afternoon

2010-11-15T16:36:00.005+07:00

dearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrie me. i'm just too full of wanting to prove things to people that it kills me inside. okay. i got a problem. no, the problem is not what's implicitly stated in the 2nd sentence. here's the deal. tomorrow's some wacko speech contest that somewhat demands a 'debate-like' speech to be delivered by its participants. so guess what bugs me...... no, not the judges. i'm mentally prepared well enough to 'mess' with whatever form they might appear to be. for once, i have no idea thus i've not prepared anything for a speech competition. well that sounds silly anyways, noting there're only 2 speech competitions that i've joined in my whole life (count debate comps out of it, please. debating is not an ordinary speeches in competitions which are delivered by people who only relied on datas and all those so-called-crowd-enchanting remarks and gestures). so, since i'm grateful enough for debate to have touched my life and results to me seeing a lotta things in a lotta new different ways and also results to me feeling even better whenever i'm doing activities regarding public speaking, i would really love to make my speech tomorrow as akin as how i do my speeches in debates.

yes, but first i gotta write a script of the text to make me feel hell lot prepared for tomorrow in terms of hand gestures (like what's demanded by my friggin teacher), facial expressions(-__-), intonations, where to emphasis things and all other tiresome thingamajigs. THE THING IS HAVEN'T GOT ANY IDEA OF WHAT TO WRITE. i don't even know how to structurize this thing. dearie me. okay here's the theme anyways, what can we do to increase our nationalism?

dear god hallelujah. i've always disliked things like those. IT'S JUST TOO BROAD FOR ME, and too ambiguous, and too not interesting, and too blunt (if not dull). and am so not in the mood to simplify least of all deal with complicated things like those. i don't know what i'm feeling so that i seemingly despise the fact that i got this theme for my speech. this is just like gonna be talking a so-so thing and i particularly am not in the mood to do anything so-so. and there goes another obstacle, i'm also incapable at the time being also to think of something fresh and new and non-boring when it comes to one's sense of pride of their own country. oh gosh this is like so dull and i don't know why i don't like to talk about why we should be proud of our country. i fear like i'm gonna think of myself as a hypocrite perhaps if i actually blare out to people about it. gah. i've no idea, yet i still expect.

DIE.

let's make this brief

2010-11-10T17:21:00.006+07:00

hi.........:D can't stop grinning. i feel i like own up to you thus i feel like a kid who got caught whilst breaking rules, for not writing to you in considerably ages. just so you know, blog, i've been coming and going from your page a few times ago. waiting for my hands to be tempted to actually write something. but the answer of why it restrains itself from doing so, again lies on my lack of ability to structurize and keep things tidy therefor forming an immense and dense tendency of laziness (which oftenly prevails when i'm stuck in the dilemma of posting). so yea, i'll just try to write now. you know why? because i'm going to be stuck up in front of my lappie for about 3 hours, waiting for my new movie to be downloaded :) yes, i'm downloading (500) days of summer. why do i opt into downloading? i spent quite an effort of finding the dvd, but like what oftenly happens to all the other dvds (and things) i own, it vanishes. that thing aside, i don't know why i had this strong urge to revisit this movie. maybe because i'm too drowned by the smith's lyrics that's been popping out every now and then in my surroundings. wallpaper-ed the scene where summer sung the lyrics in the elevator. okay, the movie's simply sweet. and now i've to wait for 3 hours to watch it, yearite my patience will be tested. but hey even if it fails, i'll try to convince dad that it's the (monthly, or weekly) time to get new dvds (seeing how he's gonna take me and my sister out to dinner)! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. oh no blog, sorry, alter's taking over. sucking up all my will to write and spill a lot of things to you. oh shoot i'm closing in again. seeyousoonblog<3

a different kind of nationals :D

2010-10-24T08:13:00.007+07:00

i woke up today, harsh way. opened my eyes when the sky was still considerably dark. i hold the thought of fully waking up cuz i don't think i oughtta go to school today. my premonition was right. today is sunday. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY i can wake up late! and guess what, i sorta did. not.

dad abruptly opened the door to my room at around 7-ish (yes, amazing how i was still able to check out the time on my phone. naaah, there's another reason why i checked on my phone. i ended up disappointed and instead ended up knowing what the time was (okay, out of context-_-)). shocked me up my ass. and he did the forbidden thing............. turning off the aircon. HUAAAAAA THIS BETTER BE FOR A GOOD REASON! and it was not. he asked me to accompany him god knows where. and eventually i sorted that he wanted me to accompany him to a funeral i guess, of a family member. and yes, as usual i've no idea who the person is T_T i'm such a bad member of a great big family. then after some ramblings, rejections, and swear words (nah, kidding) he got outta the room! YAAAAAAAAAAAY PEACE! i cuddled once more inside my homer-bart blanky, tho the aircon's dead the coolness of the air is still there thank god. THEN....... he came in again. he said there's this letter from bina bangsa. yea ryt i thought that it's those bbs kids sending me a letter. that would be weird -_- and no, dad eventually corrected. it was from bina antarbudaya. and yes i got up straight away. did some effort to grab the letter away from him, but seeing my state of condition at that time (read: half-conscious) i was grasping air. finally he withdrew. i took it from him and as annisa's told me, the letter contained the notification that i'm now a national candidate! it gave me instructions to do some online application thingy which they have sent to the email i stated on my long-ago written application letter. and the thing is........................ i forgot which email address i put there. been checking out my email accounts since i got up. letter from them was nowhere to be found. started to freak out tho, the due date is 27 oct. but thankfully they said if there are any cases of changes of email address, they give out a name for us to contact. but still, what happens if this is just a case of me and my impatience? say if i did send an email from my yahoo account saying that this is my new account, and it turned out that it was the same address i put on my application letter.............. that would be a shame. i can imagine the reply: "oh right, this account is the one that you wrote on your application letter. we were just about to send it to you tomorrow. :)" i rest my case.

yay. but an eerie feeling then creeps mercilessly after the subconscious euphoria of having received the letter. how i still have some domestic unfinished settlement for my own satisfaction and profound wants. i thank God of course. but the future freaks me out.

how life mocks

2010-10-18T20:14:00.002+07:00

not just me. the fact sink in just today. why does it have to happen today? when everyone are seemingly in the quite same state of pensiveness as i am. i start to think that life isn't so discriminating at all. it gives everyone the equal chance to feel sad, just as equal as it gives the chance to feel happiness.

at a loss for words. penultimately, for all the other indescribable feelings, i'll be forever grateful and forever sorry.

i'll see you around :)

it's not the country, it's the people-_-

2010-10-13T17:05:00.005+07:00

hari ini gue berasa sangat tersadarkan kembali akan betapa (agak) terpuruknye kondisi bangsa gue. pas pulang, gue lagi asik denger lagu di mobil (misery kalo gasalah lagunya haa gapenting) trus tau tau mobil masuk jeglokan gitu biasa jalan pondok gede abalan punya. trus tau tau gue denger mobil kaya ditabrak gitu. oh fck kan gue paling males kalo udah tabrak2an apalagi om boris sangat "defensif" (baca: agresif-_-) kalo soal gituan. udah deh yang ditakutkan terjadi. om boris majuin mobil, trus dia keluar daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan nge-geplak palanya si bapak pengendara motor. oh *#!@&$(*&#@&@^!*&# banget deh gue di dalem mobil ama nike. udah menghela napas, liat-liatan, tapi deg-degan parah. adegan berikutnya om boris kaya berusaha ngambil sesuatu dari bawah kursi mobil tapi gagal jadinya dia kembali masuk ke mobil dan melaju kencang. dalem mobil:

om boris: (tangan kanan merogoh2 ke bawah samping kursi)

gue: om itu si bapaknya ngapain sih emang tadi? nabrak ya?

om boris: (masih sibuk) nggak gep. tadi om boris udah masuk kan, eh udah tau gitu tu orang masih maksain masuk

oke buat gue itu bisa dibenarkan

gue: trus tadi itu bunyi apaan yak?

om boris: TADI DIA MUKUL MOBIL GEP

gue: (jadi emosi juga jadinya) WAH PARAH BANGET!!! (abis itu gue juga jadi gelap mata sendiri)

tu orang masih di belakang mobil, masih teriak2 mengumpat ngumpat. om boris masih sibuk merogoh

om boris: gab coba tolong kamu liat itu kunci setir tolong diambilin dong (sambil buka kaca jendela)

gue & nike: (udah mikir yang aneh2, cth: om boris bakal nyenggol si motor pake kunci setir ato lebih parah: nabok pake kunci setir) buset om jangan om. itu nanti parah banget om nanti malah bisa berantem nanti om boris yang kena juga bisa dibawa ke polisi. aduh nanti dia catet nomer mobil trus nanti bisa papa yang kena om

om boris: biarin aja (masih berusaha ngerogoh kunci setir)

nike: (via bb) gue injek (--> yak jadinya penyebab om boris gak bisa ngambil tu kunci setir adalah karena nike injek. yak gue seneng banget! nike pinter banget:D)

si bapak berusaha nyerempet tapi malah nyungsep -_- tapi dia pantang nyerah, dia bediri lagi dan kembali melaju di belakang mobil. dia sempet curhat dulu gitu ke pengendara motor di sebelahnya hahahah pengen ketawa gue

udah abis akhirnya kan mo belok masuk ke rumah nike. gara2 gue kira, kita bakal "berpisah" disitu, gue buka kaca trus ngomong: "LEN KALI JANGAN MUKUL DONG PAK" (gue juga sayang ama tu mobil hiks)

ternyata gak selese disitu. setelah belok dan agak masuk dikit, om boris berentiin mobil. eh kucuk kucuk kucuk si bapak juga nongol di deket situ. turunlah om boris sambil bawa kunci setir yang gede gitu. okeee akirnya pecahlah konflik di situ. lalalala gue sempet teriak di mobil, panik ama nike. karena gak sekali ini om boris kaya gitu. gue udah bt. nike nyaranin nelfon bokap. tapi gue udah berasa mati rasa. lalalala akirnya konflik selese, orang2 udah pada berkerumun kea paan tau. trus, terucaplah kata sakral itu dari mulut si bapak yang tampangnya udah ketakutan ngeliat om boris --> "FLORES".................................................. om boris yang tadinya udah mo balik ke mobil akhirnya balik ke tu bapak sembari mengayun2kan kunci setir (gue ngeliatnya aja udah ngeri). okeh, saat si bapak bawa2 suku gue juga sumpek parah. masalahnya, itu sangat super materi sosiologi banget. semua suku hak dan kewajibannya sama. itu diferensiasi sosial, bukan stratifikasi. semua suku itu sama. aduh parah kebawa emosi. setelah itu akirnya om boris dorong2 tu bapak yang udah pengen beranjak pake motornya. om boris teriak "PERGI PERGI LU" gitu gitu dan gue kembali teriak lewat kaca (agak gak kul emang gue kaga turun-_-): "JANGAN BAWA2 SUKU PAK!!!" oke setelah itu mobil jalan lagi dan nganter nike ke rumahnya dan om boris minta maap ke nike.

ada dialog dikit lagi yang bikin gue kicep dikit. ini pas mobil udah mo masuk komplek gue:

gue: HET DAH! lagian ngapain pake nepok sih om? gak nyantai banget elah gue kira nabrak!!!

om boris: kakinya kelindes gep................jadi tadi dia udah maksa masuk gitu, om boris liat badan motornya udah mo kena mobil, jadinya mending om boris lindes kakinya aja

oke di situ gue kicep ternyata om boris tiada tandingannya -_-

hal2 yang gue emphasis disini adalah (moral cerita):

1. betapa sangat disayangkannya orang make suku sebagai last defense. kenapa gue bilang last defense? abis kayanya menurut gue itu adalah salah satu yang bener2 jahat banget dan dikeluarin saat lo bener2 udah mati kutu sehingga lo gampang aja kemakan ke-gak rasional-an lo sampe ngatain tu orang berdasarkan asas salah satu logical fallacy yang gue lupa namanya paan. lo nge-judge orang dari satu stigma buruk. just because they played a part in a conflict, doesn't mean you can classify all of them (JUDGING FROM THEIR SKIN ONLY, LEAST OF ALL) as troublemakers. ANJER LO SATU NEGARA WOY! MENDING NYARI RIBUT AMA NEGARA LUAR AJA JANGAN AMA SESAMA. DODOL!

2. please banget orang indonesia kalo ada orang berantem liatin gpp, tapi jangan ampe bikin macet lalu lintas. apa banget yaampun. untung aja tadi gak ada yang sok-sok pahlawan. aduh tapi kok gue jadi gak populis gitu ya? yah tapi masalahnya kalo ada yang sok-sok pahlawan, tu orang ujung2nya kena gebok trus jadi emosi juga trus malah jadi tambah rancu masalahnya, hih. sumpah ampe sekarang gue mikiiiiiiir terus, apakah orang teriak2 itu sebegitu absurdnya ya ampe diliatinnya parah gitu? otak gue cuman nyampe pada konklusi bahwa --> orang teriak2 itu kaya di sinetron, dan yang ada di sinetron itu jarang kejadian di kehidupan nyata. jadi, sekalinya ada.............................. tontonan gratis bagi masyarakat setempat atau pengendara kendaraan yang sedang lewat. TAPI TOLONG DEH MASA KALO ADA MOBIL YANG LAGI DIDEREK DI BAHU JALAN TOL AJA BISA BIKIN MACET DI 3 LINE JALAN TOLNYA JUGA SIH? T___T DURASI MEN DURASI

3. gue jadi merasa kalo pendidikan benar-benar kurang. i mean, gue juga gatau apakah sebegitu signifikan ato nggak ya, at least kalo aja semua orang pernah belajar pkn ato sosiologi (sesuai apa yang baru gue dalami beberapa bulan lalu), well conflicts like these won't result into offending races would it? i mean, mending berantem fisik deh. yang luka palingan satu orang doang, tapi kalo ngehina suku. itu ouch banget, sesama orang indo pula. cacat.

4. pembangunan pemerintah harus lebih dibecusin lagi. SERIOUSLY! kalo aja tu jalan ga bobrok, lebih luas, pengaturan jalan lebih bagus, kaga ada ledakan penduduk, trus pendapatan masyarakat ga rendah2 amat................. cerita kaya tadi bisa aja ga kejadian. link-nya jauh emang. tapi menurut gue sih kaya gitu huh.

jadi yah yaudah deh. cerita gue itu jadi bukti kalo emang sumber daya alam indonesia cakep2, tapi orangnya aja yang emang kurang cakap mungkin ya. ada yang kaga mo ngalah, ada yang beraninya cuman teriak, ada yang takut tapi sok-sok berani, dan masih banyak yang demen sinetron. yasudlah, maju bangsaku!

this is monday, regardless

2010-10-11T09:49:00.003+07:00

i woke up at around 8.15 on a monday morning. had plans and agendas stuffed in my head on how to spend the morning. took a shivering shower and am hanging out with my lappie here right now. watched some debate videos but am not continuing anymore cos the buffering process' being a bottom. ended up looking up list of priveleges i gain simply for being human in youthforhumanrights. am appalled by it's mystical videos wuwuwu BUT THEN AGAIN....................................... this is monday! sadly, i'm gonna face midtest in the afternoon. hua. this should've been a perfect leisure day T_T had books to read (am continuing 50 psychology ideas :D), debate videos to watch, matters to read, a game to finish........................ so yea i think i'm going to catch a lengthy excruciating date with history. this is just a promiscuous innuendo.

ciao

i dont feel like going to church today

2010-10-10T10:35:00.004+07:00

what a labil, depressing, inconsistent, annoying, insecure yet fun and enjoyable week!!!!! i can't even begin to structurize, let alone organize my mixed up self-defense anymore. yang paling penting sih debate whatever book gue ilang. sedih nya offside loh. trus juga ipod nyemplung ke parit depan kelas. APA APAAN BANGET KAN??? trus jadinya harus gue ambil, bare-hands. that's it sih. and of course at some other days (still in the same week) i used numerous profane words which i regretted later on in the same day. thus, creating an immense guilt towards God. my nature of escaping from guilt and other unpleasant feelings has become too noticeable even for me to ignore. therefore in this case, my nature took shape in a statement: i dont feel like going to church today.

oweee. i re-opened my blog and this act is inspired from my chat with win fortunata ahahaha

addition: am instead watching uadc semis debate vid. and again, i talk to myself during the speaker's speech and also pause the video whenever there's a word or term that's new to me or which i think is worthy to be researched. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i miss debate -_-

hanging upside down

2010-10-06T18:11:00.004+07:00

who needs love? and look what you've done!!! ---> (AND THESE ARE WHY I LOVE ITUNES)

LOOK UP THE STINKING LYRICS IF YOU DARE

GOT THE MESSAGE?????

on countries' self interests

2010-09-23T22:23:00.008+07:00

under New Zealand's ideas, ladies and gentlemen, about representation, team England's presence in the final today also represents Wales, Ireland, and Scotland! but of course we know, ladies and gentlemen, that isn't true. because we're actually representing ourselves, England! perhaps the fact that two and a half of us are Jewish means we're also representing team Israel. but again, that isn't true. because of course nations represent themselves, ladies and gentlemen. they represent themselves. they don't represent regions, they don't represent ideas, they represent their own self-issues, ladies and gentlemen, in the world of international relations. and we say even more than that, the Security Council is not about representation at all.

-James Fox, opposition whip (England), upon the motion This House Would expand permanent membership of UN Security Council (WSDC Grand Finals 2008)

outdated. i know. shut up.

anniv.

2010-09-20T17:25:00.009+07:00

SEE SEE SEE i customized my blog. sorry for the hype anyhoo. so yea, i've been debating wkwkw my writings (make it, ramblings) about debate have been left out since pedc. things've been rather fluctuative for me these days. but this does not apply to my ever-increasing passionate love for debate. i celebrated our anniversary in binus e.com tho wkwkwk gue mau nulis tentang dua hal. dikit aja kok. mau curhat dikit aja, tentang my so-called "quarter curse". IYAAAAAAA jadi dalam jatoh bangun debat gue, tim gue seriiiiiiiing bet nyangkut di quarter. hm apalagi kalo gue sama mita hahahah oke. smak 3 2009, Binus NEO 2009, Labs Interval 2009, PEDC 2010, dan yang paling gress: Binus e.Com 2010. selamat dulu dong gab 5 kali nyangkut. wohooh bikin gue penasaran pengen masuk final -_- tapi keren lah 8 besar gedohhhhhhhh O_O yauda oke itu cukup trus in celebration of my first anniversary gue mau ngerekap dikit aja based on ruth's confession baru-baru ini. ahahahah gue dulu muter-muter parah ternyata pas speech. jadi misalnya case gue udah selese kan setelah itu karena ketokan tanda 7 menit belom terdengar, apa yang gue lakukan? yoyoooooy ngulang kasus dari awal. HA-HA-HA malu gak? dikit -_- untung gue ga inget kalo gue kaya gitu dulu HAHAHA yauda ya hehehe gue seneng deh pokoknya pas binus ecom. tapi ya intinya, kapan sih gue gak pernah seneng pas di debatopia? wkwkwk :)

Binus e.Com 2009:

my first teammies ever

the crazies

After a year:

my precious teammies

2010

xoxo debatopia

ps. am longing for you already

truth be told!

2010-09-09T22:09:00.004+07:00

i arrived at the point where i came to realization that: some people or things that i don't like are actually the ones that i envy. the ones i feel envious about are mostly the ones i actually wish to be! :D

stefu!

2010-09-07T00:00:00.004+07:00

parah lohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! lagi ngescroll foto-foto smp di facebook. two things occur:

1. i miss junior high school.

2. i ponder about how on earth i end up debating instead in high school. thing is, i feel different, i seem different, but it simply is still the same old constant me.

life, or God's plan, is indeed way beyond one's widest exposure O_o

aridity

2010-09-06T23:04:00.002+07:00

hiya! am finding it hard to write nowadays. am seemingly lacking of peculiarity in life.

life is nothing but a repetition, the same thing over and over. the fights you fight today are the fights you fight until you die.

seeeeeeeeeee? ben's right. but if you have some time, check out the stuff in this list. at least i gained something amidst my considerably well-spent time:

little prince
freefall
by the river piedra i sat down and wept
wacko videos of the beloved
like we used to
rocket science
fahrenheit 9/11
teenage dreams
fahrenhype 9/11
shutter island

resolve: a slice of pizza can be meaningful when you really want it, compare to the times you're compelled to eat general fish :)

hal hefner-inspired.

wishes dreams and past mistakes

2010-08-17T00:37:00.003+07:00

can't believe it came round again. phyxius. it's been nearly a year! wakakakka and what am i doing? i'm writing a post the exact night before my departure to bandung. just like i did last year. geee i guess i'm trying to do this annually or something LOL. just read the rundown earlier. i did quite the exact same thing, experienced quite the same feeling like last year. ah well, some letdown happened today though, my voice's disappearing (HUAAAAAAA) how am i gonna talk? body language, right -_- math test happened, organizational stuff happened. and i thought i was free from hardship, dream on. hhhhhhhhhm scrutinizing what i wrote last year, tonight i should be writing about some specific someone i like. surprisingly predictable, no one in particular popped up in my mind. guess i was too occupied to think of those things. gah! i'm growing up. not. oh oh oh and see it's my country's 65th birthday (or anniversary?) yaaaaaaay happy birthday indonesia! grow up will ya?! rite, and this is the first time (i think) i'm gonna miss the 17th's ceremony. seriously gruesome! :'( i won't be watching the flag ceremony at the palace. oh, wait. i can do that! ahahhaha wohoo! pardon the randomness. i'm going to pedc! yaaay!

sleep flower

2010-08-16T01:00:00.002+07:00

When i was a little kid, i believed that there's only one definition of the word 'dream'. It simply is something that happens to you when you're asleep. But as i grow old, the real world starts to creep on me. It seems that those people define 'dream' as something good you wish to achieve or want to be. I'd like to simply say it in Bahasa instead: 'cita-cita'. It somehow ruined my day back then when i acknowledged that definition challenge-_- ah well i'm gonna chitchat about my original definition of dream, because lately i realize that my dreams are getting eccentric! Simply put, i get to do nearly anything i can't or don't do in reality. At other times, my dreams displayed things i actually do in real life. Yet i just can't believe my dream managed to make it look even better! Just last night, i bungee jumped in my dream. It felt real! Lol! I bungee jumped from the macau tower (i'll post the pic later. It. Is. High) and felt rather great! Strangely in my dream, i feel like i made my own region. It's already mapped in my mind. I even visited a place more than once in different times i dream. Excitingly, i get to control where i wanna go in my dream, especially when i already know all the exact locations of everything. This is starting to sound like Inception to you? Please bear with me :p i debated once in my dream (wakakak), i dreamt of meeting my old friends, i dreamt of meeting people i crave to meet. I even recall that when i was a kid i dreamt that i had a kitten kept inside a bag that i own for real (i really wanted a kitten at that time wkwk). You know what? It was so real that when i woke up that morning i went searching for that bag in my house, put my hands into it in hopes of finding myself a kitten. But no, no kitten inside. Twas a bummer-.- yet it was a nice and entertaining dream! Oftenly i also dream of visiting a same bookstore over and over again, browsing for books. After some thoughts, i realized that it's the old face of gramedia bookstore i used to visit in my childhood (kindergarten to primary school). IT'S FUN! Hahahahaha dreams makes me stop and think about random things. For example, why in the first place i dream about one specific thing and all. Then i'd try to recall other things from my dreams, because yea when you wake up you'll kinda forget most of the part of your dreams:( but i'm grateful for one of my special ability. If in case i woke up but am not fully awaken, i can continue a dream from the same sequence from where i left it! Akakak sure it need some imagination though and it's only applicable when you're not completely up yet and still have a strong intention to sleep while also continuing your dream. Because when i woke up in the middle of a dream, i don't really like the idea of getting back to a dreamless slumber afterwards :p well yea that's quite all about me and the enjoyable dreams of mine. Shiz. I cannot believe it's moanday already! Am posting from my phone, refusing the urge to surrender to drowsiness because it'll fast forward me to waking up on a monday morning. I'm even now already thinking of the whereabouts of my tie. But if i don't sleep, i won't dream. That's ironic T_T ah well i'll just wrap it up here anyways.

Toodles!

macau tower.

jumpy

2010-08-12T17:23:00.006+07:00

hello! it's my 2nd year! of high school and of debate. and the debating season's starting soon! it's starting with a bang, it's gonna start with phyxius. hihihihi i get all stoked for this thing, don't i? *fm static's tonight playing in the background* hahaha where do i start.. oyea the open recruitment for the new ec members went rather swell! we gained nearly 40 new members ;D hopefully they'd still be "there until the end" and from the first meeting we had, we also found some new potential juniors. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! hopefully they'd be an even greater successor of 81 eds *ya sudahlah playing in the background (i write so slow. yeah-_-)* lately i've been craving for a new debate book and debate whatever book, which is more urgent because the paper already run out unlike debate book which still has 10 pages but yea i NEED them both. and sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

*acting as the replacement for my stone debate book is my new sunflower book!

**acting as the replacement for my striped debate whatever book is my new rather-abstract debate whatever book!

wihiw! seeing it, you might tend to think that i'm an all "new year, new goods" kinda person. but believe me, my book had (nearly) run out of papers. i see all this as my mental preparation for pedc. akakakka gak nyambung yuak bodo amir ikikiki. gak sabar pedc loh hahaha :D

im going to close this post by posting this from tumblr, my newfound modern source of wisdom

Only part of us is sane: only part of us loves pleasure and the longer day of happiness, wants to live to our nineties and die in peace, in a house that we built, that shall shelter those who come after us. The other half of us is nearly mad. It prefers the disagreeable to the agreeable, loves pain and its darker night despair, and wants to die in a catastrophe that will set back life to its beginnings and leave nothing of our house save its blackened foundations.

2010-08-10T15:09:00.001+07:00

the great divide

2010-08-04T20:01:00.002+07:00

hey you.

you gotta break out.

you gotta follow through.

you gotta try to find a way.

dream on, but don't lose the feeling. when there's nothing to hold on to, you gotta learn to feel your way.

galau lagi

2010-08-03T22:02:00.004+07:00

mau curhat. how can songwriters create such wondrous lyrics? aduh gimana ya. i mean, kata kata puitis dengan makna tersirat kan seharusnya cuman bisa ditulis ama penulis2 jadul gitu kan, tapi iniiiiiiiiiiiiiiii??? kata2nya menohok! serius beberapa emang gue gak terlalu bisa ngerti artinya apa, tapi gue tau aja kalo itu maknanya dalem ahahah agak bego dikit emang. tapi ya indah kok dinyanyiin. i mean, sumber mereka dari mana ya? apa pengalaman pribadi ato ngigo aja gitu astaga masalahnya kalo sumber inspirasinya dari ngigo......................... masa ngigo gue gak menghasilkan sesuatu? -____________- yah gitulah keren. thing is, gue suka ama kata2 yang dalem. kea peribahasa, quote quote gitu, apalagi bagian2 lirik lagu yang klimaks klimaks gitu. soalnya waktu kecil bahkan kadang2 ampe sekarang, gue bercita-cita dan berkeinginan untuk jadi orang bijak yang bisa ngehasilin kata-kata mutiara yang bisa dikenang orang (superkrik2014) abis keren gitu ahahahah trus jadinya karena ampe sekarang kayanya gue cuman bisa terkagum2 ama kemampuan mengolah kata-kata milik orang2 lain-_- jadilah gue sekarang hanya penikmat hahaha gitulah pokoknya sirik gue ama penulis lirik yang dalem2 gitu. gue lagi "bahagia" denger blue sky collapse (still everyday i think about you. i know for a fact it's not your problem. *DOOORRR!). banyak loh lagu2 sedih (atopun bahagia tapi nadanya sedih) yang bagus buat nemenin pas galau. lagu indonesia bisaaaa! curhat ama mantan terindah. ngik ngok ahaha udahan dulu galaunya. harus bikin pr.........................yahkangalaulagiT_T

okelah. pensiveness is universal, people.

galau

2010-08-03T20:32:00.003+07:00

tebak gue sekarang seharusnya lagi ngapain......................

ngerjain pendahuluan buat tugas proposal bahasa indonesia. tugas cukup berat yang kayanya baru pertama kali gue dapet di kelas sos ahahaha kaya biasa gitukan, pokoknya waktu gue seharusnya ngerjain tugas ato ulangan, malah blogging. yah kayanya lagi galau gue. ngik ngok galau itu apasih sebenernya gue juga gaktau, susah dijelasin ahahah menjurus kaya moodswing gitu deh. julukan terbaru moody deh kayanya. pikiran jadi banyak banget, numpuk gitu, trus jadi bawaannya pengen denger lagu, pengen suasana mendung2 adem gitu yang enak pokoknya buat tidur kaya di ruang 110, 305 ato 212 pas lagi gelap. seringnya galau kan di sekolah, jadinya tambah asoy aja beneran kalo lagi di kelas itu trus ujan gelap acnya nyala trus gurunya ngajar ampe bikin ngantuk. ngantuk. gue tiap hari ngantuk mulu di sekolah ahahaha sejak semester dua kelas 1 gue bawaannya tiap hari pasti bisa tidur di kelas. sakit. kesemutan :'( tapi tidur itu enak, sambil denger ipod. ahhhhhhh iya ipod gue rusak!!! tombol on-off sama tombol shufflenya ilang semua sedih tapi masih bisa gue utak-atik dikit lah jadi seenggaknya masih bisa ngeluarin suara.

ah tukan galau. monoton nih ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! need moodboosters

BIND; the third

2010-07-24T22:25:00.012+07:00

wkwkw waktu vakum gue agak tinggi juga ya ahahah yauda ah agak basi tapi gpp ahhh gue ceritain aja. hmmm pokoknya sampe prelim 4, gue ama mita belom diadju sama core adjudicators, which consists of 5 great debaters from outer space................. i meant abroad -_- like um, julia bowes wwkwkwk their achievements are amazing! they been to wudc, either as chief adjudicator or as the champion of it, terharu gue denger binus inter bisa datengin mereka :'D gue antara malu malu penasaran gitu kan pengen diadju ama mereka hahaha okelah but the thing is in the comp, each team's obliged to be adjudicated at least once, before 3rd round or (worst case scenario) 4th, by one of those people. dan jadilah ampe round 4 gue belom diadju mereka huhuhu emang suek kali ye trus gue malah diadju alvin lagiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii pas round 4! apa banget kan aduh ahahahah udah conflict, 2 KALI PULA! *ganyantai dikit. trus udah deh akirnya gue ngadu ke can okar that bulletproof monk belom diadju salah satu dari mereka. then will jones took the floor after can okar asked who's not yet adjudicated by one of them. he announced the match-ups and i tattle-told my team's, well, my conflict with one of the adjus to will jones, cuz he was the one announcing the match-ups and supposedly the motion, but of course, beforehand he asked whether there's a conflict within any chamber. berderap maju ke depan dong gueeeee hahaha lawak deh, pas gue maju ke depan (lagi), will led me to the corner of the room, some privacy i presume. oke dialog ya:

gue: "i have a conflict"

will: "with me?" (he asked with an unbelievably hilarious innocent expression which was amusing while gesturing with his hand. it was damn funny i swear)

gue: (sempet -_- dikit, tapi asli nahan ketawa) "no, um with one of the adju, alvin"

will: "oh?"

gue: "yea he's my boyfriend"

will: "oh okay. great, fantastic"

that's all. but it was SUCH a laugh buat gue HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA asli ekspresinya itu bener2 purely natural or purely artificial i don't know which. LOL

okey yep then akirnya digantiii wuwuwu and the motion was, oh yeah got clossing opp (DAMMIT):

THBT developing countries should implement population control

okeyokey awright the motion requires pemutaran otak, because frankly i prefer being gov. i mean like gimana mo berkembang kalo jumlah rakyatnya kebanyakan coba. they should be wise in, um.. mengolah anak -_- (ok that's stupid) but then i thought of it in another prespective. the citizens still upholds conventional values --> more kids, more blessing. whatever ways lah gue gak ngerti gitukan though in practicalnya yes you might see minors having babies and all, and parents sell their kiddos. and i later had the epiphany that that is what actually a good gov should do, accomodate the soc's values NGAHAHAH itu masih rebutt ye kalo gak salah, kepret. trus pokoknya inti extension gitu apa ya kalo gak salah gue bilang kalo population control itu futile and won't work (abal) jadinya mending duit buat bikin program itu, disalurin buat pendidikan and all that azaaaa. i mean, what's the gov gonna do with the LIVING people in the current status quo? trus juga mita bilang kalo misalnya orang2 tua yang anaknya "melebihi batas normal" yang di-set pemerintah, mereka akan cenderung ngejual anaknya buat dapet duit, cuz they'd wanna avoid taxes burdened to them because of the exceeding number of kids in that family, jadi mending dijual gitu anaknya. nah itu keren banget, karena sebenernya kalo gue kembangin itu bisa menjurus2 ke child trafficking tapi ternyata gak terlalu gue signifikan-in jadinya agak fatal, maaf mit T_T huuu at the end, twas a bench winning for goverment. me and mita got 3rd place and acquired 6 vps. (but i really thank mr.wj for what he did/gave me back in that round :D)

afterwards, 5th round.ngek ngok deshtak. we were told that we should gain 9 or, if we're lucky enough, 8 vps in order to make it to top 16. so mita and i really clung to the hope of gaining at least 2 vps in the last round, seeing the fact that we'll be meeting 3 more couples (JIEH COUPLES UHUY, team kali -_-) with as strong a bond as ours (pansigab-_-). yah pokoknya lebih berat daripada round2 sebelomya dah, soalnya vp mereka kemungkinan besar berkisar antara angka 6 juga. we got cg upon the motion:

THBT developing nations should not allow foreign ownership of national resources

huaaa langsung flashback to the nationalization debate i had back then. gue langsung mikir yang aneh-aneh (?) gadeng canda. hm extension gue adalah merupakan daripada how i, again, believe so much in the power and capability of local government (jiah) how they'd fight for their workers, they'd have more incentive to use the profits and all from that national resource for the welfare of their own society. dan gak usah takut bakal ditinggalin foreign companies!!! mereka kan biasanya berasal dari negara yang miskin resources, jadinya mereka mengandalkan resources dari developing countries. udah deh aman............................................

gak deng gak aman. gue ama mita dapet 2nd rank. which, accumulated with our vps, results us to 8 victory points (as i drearily wished to be enough to break). but it wasn't enough. just wasn't our luck. like one of the adjus said, "tough luck". all in all i rrrrrrreally believe it was worth the struggle. it was a great competition that allows me to enhance meself, and i like it :D so yeah hopefully i'll join next year's bind, with the theme: women and children. wootwoot

(i'll be telling you guys soon(er or later) about the open recruitment of sman 81 english club and the latters ;D)

seeya then!

BIND; the second

2010-07-12T21:08:00.004+07:00

besokannya lomba men ahahahah i teamed up with mita once again uhuy. dengan pola speaker yang sulit diprediksi..................................... gue prime minister/leader of opp, mita deputy prime minister/deputy leader of opp ataupun gue member of gov/opp, mita gov/opp whip. gak deng, sejak neo, posisi kita selalu begitu ngekgehkghekgehkehgkh padahal awalnya gue ama mita bikin perjanjian loh ahhahah jadi nanti pas kita dapet posisi closing untuk pertama kalinya pas ronde berapapun, kita bakal tuker posisi, gue jadi whip mita jadi member. tapi pas kita dapet closing pas ronde 3, perjanjian batal karena kita sama-sama ngeri tuker posisi ekekekeke trus yang keren dari bind hahaha each team got a name based on movies, instead of their institution name. 81 dapet nama Bulletproof Monk. astageh biksu antipeluru T_T tapi yaudahdeh hahahaha kul dikit.

afterwards, the match-up. jadi abis match-up gue kan keluar dari debs hall, trus pas masuk dan mau balik ke seat buat nungguin motion, raj called me from his seat.

raj: "gabriel, are you bulletproof monk?"

gue: "yea......?"

raj: "you're with me"

gue: "?????????"

raj: "i'm kick-ass. lo lawan gue"

gue: (panik seketika) "ah raj kenapa lo bilaaaaang?"

turned out bipeds was the opening gov, 81 opening opp. direct opponent anjer ahahaha upon the motion:

THBT rich states should not reduce developing aid in times of recession

oke super selamat recession apaan, gue kira istirahat. yaelah istirahat apaan T_T ternyata itu maksutnya kea kalo lagi krisis ekonomi kea yang di US waktu itu, yang apa tuh kredit housingnya gitu gitulah, yang bikin ekonominya devastated banget waktu itu. okeh gubrak gue ga ngerti kan selamat. trus yang keren lagi, gue di-adju alvin. HAHAHAHAHH GUE LUPA NGADU KALO GUE CONFLICT AMA DIA. sialan -_- ah udah ah pokoknya pas itu gue rank 4th ahahah asli udah parno duluan direct opponentnya raj T_T was rather scared shitless, mind you

2nd round we got opening government upon the motion:

THBT donor countries should not offer tied-development aid

gubrak makdikipe, tambah setres lagi gue gak ngerti motionnya. untung pas round 1, raj ngomong-ngomong tentang tied-development aid hehehe jadi itu jenis aid yang kea ngewajibin negara resipien to do something that the donor country wants. contohnya misalnya si negara resipien harus ngerubah ideologi nya jadi demokrasi (ALSA motion 2010 hahaha), ato apalah pokoknya ada prerequisitenya untuk dapetin aid itu. dan super selamatnya lagi adalah gue debat di 310, which is deb's hall. dan di sana dipasang webcam untuk live streaming bind di internet............................

motionnya kea gitu, jadi opening gov, jadi prime minister..... MASUK INTERNET LAGI T_T

jadilah gue goyang2 ga jelas waktu speech karena nervy. sangat super gak pd. i mean gue suka sih jadi gov, tapi tanpa ada alesan yang jelas hahaha i mean, mainly because i feel pity about the developing country-nya hahaha okelah -_- it was a below average debate anyways. gah but thank God we got 2nd ehehe

and so, members of the house, we reached the last motion of the day which was:

THBT developing countries should make English the only language of education

(agak bangga karena di motion ini gue bawa contoh, yaitu berhubungan dengan kelas internasional di 81 ehehehe) ini motion pernah ada di sman 71. inget gue hahahah tapi belom pernah go deep about what could the arguments be. we got closing opp. hahahaha pas lagi mo casebuild gue ingetin mita tentang deal kita, trus mita langsung panik gitu dan gakmau. gue jadi ikutan panik dan gakmau juga -_- opening opp kita waktu itu cc, austin ama eran. waktu casebuild gue ama mita sempet mikir yang mo bawa ke nationalism gitu gitu gitu hahaha tapi keanya itu bakal diambil oo kan (eh bener ternyata) wakwkawk jadinya gajadi. akirnya extension gue yang ditangkep aju adalah, gue menawarkan alternatif yaitu les bahasa inggris. karena gue bilang, mending ngajarinnya pake bahasa yang dingertiin aja daripada bahasa inggris. daripada ntar anak2nya ga ngerti gitukan. trus gue bilang, lagian kalo mo mendalami bahasa inggris kan ada tempat les......................... jadinya tempat les itulah yang dianggep sebagai extension gue -_- tapi ada satu hal lawak yang cukup crucial terjadi pas debat itu. di ruangan sebelah kita kan juga ada yang lagi debat kan dan itu suaranya agak cukup sangat kedengeran bahkan ampe ke ruangan gue. sempet agak bt gitukan gak bisa konsen lalala tapi yang keren adalah waktu oppositionnya ruang sebelah maju dan speech, gue denger. gue denger dia nyebut judul poinnya, which was "society is not ready". asli gue langsung jadiin itu judul rebuttal gue. ROTFLMAO. asli gue cekakakan sendiri waktu gue denger dan langsung nulis itu di catetan gue. soalnya gue kaya langsung nyadar gitu that's what i was gonna talk about. jadi segala catetan rebuttal gue yang scattered akirnya punya judul, which was "society is not ready" AHAHAHHAA sorry and thanks banget dah pokoknya. we got the 1st rank in this debate. the egg cracked :D me happy was. hahaha i really thank teddy a lot. i kinda learnt quite the hard way from him that we should rrrrrreally attack the core of the motion. and i guess i just get kinda lucky cuz i guess some of my openings didn't really tackled that thingy so yea we kinda get the upperhand in some cases. yay! ah teddy thankyou so much banget! trus juga yang dia ngajarin tentang intertwine rebuttals and arguments........ helped lots ted! :'D (especially when i'm rather lazy or too dummy to elaborate my rebuttals)

yauda segitu dulu ya, that's the end of day 1 of bind's debating comp.

BIND; the first

2010-07-11T16:08:00.008+07:00

bind's events actually started from 2nd until 6th of july. thing was, my class' farewell party isn't over until the 2nd. it only lasted for 2 days actually, and i'm sad that it also end on the 1st day of bind. nevertheless, i managed to come! wanna know how i pulled it off? (why do i sound like an advertisement? geez-_-) gue nyampe depan inten kalimalang jam 11an kan. masih kebawa senengnya acara perpisahan tapi deg-degan juga karena bakalan telat banget buat dateng ke seminar bind. langsung deh gue cabut ke arah kota ama om boris. jebret jebret jebret akirnya gue isi pulsa kan sebelomnya, trus langsung kontak mita. ternyata seminarnya di ex, kata mita. oke fine gue minta om boris anterin ke ex. gue bingung juga sih, seminarnya di sebelah mananya ex ya? gue keinget deh ama hall gitu di deket pintu masuk ex dari plaza indonesia. gue inget karena waktu terakhir gue ke PI, gue ama mita yang sok-sok pd masuk kesana waktu ada ultahnya anak bocah gitu hahahaha nah udah deh gue yang agak tenang gitukan. tapi tetep gue tanyain mita, precisely dimana lokasinya. gue dapet sms, di lantai 7 (ato 6 ya gue lupa) sebelah xxi. okelah gue kira maksutnya di PI kali ya, soalnya ex lantainya gak sebanyak itu. yaudah gue ke pi. tapiiiiiii plaza indonesia lantainya mentok cuman ampe 6 dan gue liat di sekeliling xxi-nya kagak ada hall ato bind banner whatsoever. oke mulai bingung, gue ke ex. DI EX JUGA GAK ADA! trus mita gue telfon. pas gue bilang gue di ex, nadanya mulai gak enak. trus setelah dia bilang maaf dan dia bilang kalo gue boleh bunuh dia, mita bilang kalo lokasinya adalah di FX bukan EX.......................... devastated. gue udah telat, om boris udah pulang, ex ama fx berjarak pula. ngek ngok udah deh gue ke bawah nyari taxi. di taxi sempet mewek dikit. capek men pegel kaki gue abis perpisahan ahahaha tapi akirnya lah nyampe gue di fx. eh pas nyampe fx, debate seminarnya udah kelar jadinya gue kedapetan adjudicator seminar. yah mayanlah soalnya abis itu juga ada exhibition debat, yaaah kehibur dikit lah gue. mayan, dapet argumen ehehehe trus udah deh abis itu pokoknya ujung2nya gue ama mita pulang bareng bokap ama nyokap gue, kita jalan ke PS. nongkrong di foodcourt kira-kira sejaman gara-gara bokap nyokap gue kejebak macet T_T jadilah kita bikin program english club setaon kedepan (cegeto gaya dikit) tapi akirnya bokap nyokap gue dateng trus kita ke sushi tei. gue. makan. agak. banyak. ehehehe

the following day was rather sentimental. that day's event was held at binus international. yeaap that place arouses lots of memories. my first debating tourney. the start of my journey in debating. it was there that i really get to know debate for the first time. it felt good stepping in that campus after nearly a year. it hadn't changed a bit, from my perspective. reminded me hell lots of the times when tika ruth and i rushed to casebuild, find chambers, and get all stoked up and nervy to hear results and assesments. i used the stairs to get to the 3rd floor, with the expression of enchantment still blatantly shown in my face. dang, thank god it's saturday, the campus was rather empty :D i even took some time to get to the 4th floor, and reminisced near the "macintosh room". hahahahah yea, the room filled with those me-wanty computers. i remembered what raj ALWAYS said: "for those of you who are debating in room 401, please don't touch the macintosh" (i always wondered what the big deal was about those macintosh each time raj uttered those sacred words, until i finally got the chance to debate in it, and heck yea it opened my eyes. LOL) what makes the "macintosh room" special? it was my first semifinal chamber with one of my performance that i personally fancy :p later on, when rut finally came to the campus, she joined me. we kinda relived the casebuilding times there, precisely where we sat, near the entrance door of the room. IT'S JUST THAT KARTIKA'S MISSING FROM THE PICTURE T_T and i also stole some time to visit the debating chambers i debated in during binus e-com 2009. i'm being rather scary am i not? wkwkwkwk no worries, i only did those things to kill the time anyways. that day's agenda wasn't to start until quite some time, so i figured, why not enjoy a stroll around the campus? :D (don't believe me, even i am doubting my own answer-_-)

the agenda was still seminars. but each participant from each institution are to attend different seminar because there'll be 4 of them and they were to run at the same time (parallel), but they are all according to this year's bind theme, international development. chamber 1 ada sam natale kalo gak salah from univ of vermont, chamber 2 a guy from PLN, chamber 3 a guy from asian bank, chamber 4 a guy from world bank. i was considerably alone that day. my institution-mates, mita & ka hanum couldn't make it that day. and there's this mechanism of room separation............ i kinda thought well much about the money we spent on this competition, seriously T_T ah well then i got to sit on the asian bank seminar. and that's when and where i thank God for kezia! we met back then at labs interval. but frankly i didn't know her that well until we were to sit on that "errrr" seminar. she approached me and asked which room i was assigned to. turned out we got the same room. i addressed her with the word "ka" until we reached the elevator and she told me that she's of the same age as me -_- and then yea i'm kinda glad we got the same room cuz things might've gone more boring hahahah because then we got another acquaintance, hanif from malang. and so the seminar went quite swell. i got some useful information about imf and world bank, so yea it was worth it cause i kinda use it as one of my lame argument later on the first round -_- so yea, thanks sir. but i only got around til around 1, karena gue harus ke gereja ahahahahahahhah minggu masih besokannya kali gab (so what's wrong with doing it in advance?) ..........................

i'm headed to irrelevance, so i guess i'll just stop here for now kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk?

LONG LIVE GERMANY!

farewell!

2010-07-07T23:59:00.004+07:00

i've been through one particularly fun-and-filled-with-exhilirating-activities week in this holiday. it started last week hahaha ajegile juga ye libur sekolah cuman 2 minggu kan, dan yang gue isi dengan kegiatan asoy cuman seminggu yah lumayanlah leha leha dikit. okeya okeya jadi hari kamis kemaren kan gue ama waspada berangkat pake minibus dari sponsor kita pertamina (cegeto ahahah gak deng itu dari mamanya ririn kalo gak salah wkwk) tapi pw loh busnya kecil gitu, judulnya kan minibus. lagian juga waspada yang bisa ikut cuma kira-kira setengahnya doang, sekitar 19 gitu (tery menyusul kemudian hahaha) berlika-liku dah jalannya ke vila inez. kita keluar tol bogor gitu trus lewatin tajur hahaha gue inget beli roti unyil trus beli dvd di sana -_- okelah gue bertahan cukup lama trus gue gakuat gue tidur tertutup pashmina. akhirnya kebangun pas udah masuk jalanan desa gitu yang naik naik ke gunung gitukan, trus anak2 mulai panik gara-gara sinyal mulai ilang hahaha gue juga gitu. ironis kalo gue mah, nokia batre penuh gak ada pulsa, esia batre satu pulsa banyak -_- tapi tetep aja gak ada guna sih soalnya sinyal gak ada gitukan ngek ngok. akirnya akirnya akirnya nyampe juga gitu kan busnya berenti trus ternyata kita harus jalan dulu buat ke vilanya. nuruuuun trus nanjak ahahah gue nginjek semen basah #curhat. udah deh akirnya nyampe ke vilanya inez trus langsung tepar2an bentar di kamar trus abis itu kita main uno trus tepok nyamuk dan itu superlawak hahaha trus pada main ramal2an juga tapi yang seru adalah kita ke air terjun! tadinya kita nyaris gak jadi ke air terjun hari itu karena ujan kan, eh trus ujannya kelar trus kita tergoda mo ke air terjun. asli ya langitnya cerah pas kita mo jalan. oke sepak terjang perjalanannya itu bener2 susah tapi gue seneng karena semuanya pada ikut ke sana, gak ada yang tinggal di rumah. gue kira jalanannya cuman curam2 dikit biasa aja gitukan, tapi inez udah bilang bakal ada semak2. gue udah yang gak sabar, dan gue kira medannya gak sesulit yang parah gitu. oke ternyata medannya sesulit yang parah gitu, beneran. pertamanya cuman curam gitu kan, gue loncat-loncat aja berasa batman pake pashmina -_- yayoz ampe sendalnya copot segala macem, boxer gue ampe kotor karena prosot-prosotan di tanah asli itu udah parah banget hahahah nothing could ever make it worse, until................................... it rained again. huaaaaaaaaaa awalnya gerimis men dan kita yang udah mo nyampe ujung jalan gitu, ada kea gerbang buat masuk ke area air terjunnya. eh gubrak nya lagi, kunci yang dibawa bapak guide kita kagak ada yang pas ama gembok tu gerbang T_T akirnya kita nyelip gitu di celah sebelah gerbang, gue ampe ngangkang-ngangkang ngeri kena kawat etdah buset. tapi akirnya nembus semua. ahahaha udah gitu ternyata itu jalanannya masih off-road lagi! kita kea lewat pinggir2 saluran air yang turun dari curugnya gitu, sebelah kanan gue pohon2 hutan gitu. udah ujan deres gue kedinginan trus ngeri trus kacamata gue basah jadi gak bisa ngeliat jelas udah ngeri dah, sebelah kiri itu malah curam gitu, kalo jatoh udah deh gue gaktau. tapi akirnya nyampe loh ke lapangan area curugnya. luaaaaaaaas bener, trus yang bocah2 cowok pada kepleset gitu trus timpuk-timpukan batu, yang cewek ngejogrok sampe akirnya pada maen tak jongkok hahahah gue ga kuat asli udah kedinginan hahahah seru deh. trus akirnya ujannya gak redaan dikit, kita jalan deh naik tanjakan lagi, tapi untungnya ada tangga hahaha udaranya masih dingin trus kita juga yang masih basah gitu. tapi karena penasaran kali ya jadinya kita lanjut terus ampe akirnya ketemu juga itu curug, yah bukan curugnya juga sih, tapi kea sungai kecilnya gitu. hahaha akirnya main2 di situ udah berasa berenang aja, trus foto-foto (--> Farewell) udah seleseeeee balik lagi ke vila inez. jalannya udah mendingan tapi ada tanjakan T_T hahaha capek men. malemnya kita bbq. aaaa enak loh :D hahaha trus yang seru malemnya kita mo bikin surprise buat hana. dia ulang tahun pas hari kamis itu, tanggal 1. jadi kita tungguin dia ampe tidur dulu trus eeeeh bener dia tidur sementara kita masih pada bangun dan........ nonton dunia lain -_- hahahahaha agak cacat emang. akirnya pas dunia lain udah abis, sekitar jam setengah 1an kalo gak salah, hanifia inez nyiapin kue hana. pas udah selese, akirnya kita masuk ke kamar trus bangunin hana dan ngucapin happy birthday wkwkwk itu terjadi pas udah tanggal 2, tapi gpplah wkwkwk udah dehhhhhh abis itu pada tidur daaaan pada bangun sekitar jam 6an, dan gue bangun paling terakir ngek -_- pada siap-siap segala macem dan akirnya kita pulang sekitar jam 9an. aaaaaaaaah kangen!

random lines

2010-06-29T20:51:00.003+07:00

read these lines:

as stars lean down to kiss you, i lie awake i miss you
essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across an open field
when flowers gaze at you, they're not the only ones who cry when they see you
feels like i've been buried yet still alive, it's like a bad day that never ends
i'm in league with the foe
no one knows the hard times i went through
if happiness came, i miss the call
you don't know me, you don't even care
you don't know me and you don't wear my chains
i ain't even playing my own game
the rules have changed well i didn't know
there are things in my life i can't control
the silence isn't so bad, til i look at my hands and feel sad
cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly
dark is the night cool is the ground, in the circular solitude of my heart
i think i'll start a new life
i think i'll start it over, where no one knows my name
when violet eyes get brighter and heavy wings grow lighter
i'll taste the sky and feel alive again
i think i need a sunrise, i'm tired of the sunset
if my voice could reach back through the past, i'd whisper in your ears
someday all this mess will make me laugh

vanilla twilight

2010-06-28T15:25:00.006+07:00

geeeez udah libur hem udah rapotan. i've officially gone social dated back since friday 25th. blown up some expectations i may say, but am thankful that at the least bit i'm more focused now if you compare to all the hectic every tenth grader must face in this fair country. hem haven't been quite productive lately, karena bola kali ya? ato faktor x? hahaha i must say i miss a lil bliss of school atmosphere. gak bakal sama lagi ya suasananya udah gak sama waspada lagi. nanti pas hari senin gitu barisnya gak bareng lagi, temen2 baru di sos hahahah aduh masih gak percaya akirnya masuk sos gue :D dan gue juga ngerasa cara hidup gue akir akir ini gak enak -_- gatau kenapa hem. news issssss waspada mo perpisahan tanggal 1 ampe 2! wuih semoga ga nabrak bind ya huu jadi agak stres sendiri mau bind tapi dilema juga karena masih mau hepi hepi ama waspadaw dulu pengen carefree kea dulu aaaaaah agak bt. ginich gue mo cerita. oke mulai dari subuh ya. hehe ampe subuh itu gue masih bangun dan nonton argentina lawan meksiko. di atas kertas emang ya argentina menang kan ya haahha tapi gue pengen ngeliat aja gol gol kerennya kea gimana, sekalian ada excuse buat online gak jelas kan ewehwehwe sempet chat ama win ama ka grey, debaters cacadh wkwkw. okey gue nonton itu setelah yayang yayangku dari jerman menang 4-1. trus yaaa udah deh argentina akirnya menang 3-1 juga wuih jerman lawan argentina deh hahaha nah udah kan pokoknya total gue itu tepar jam setengah 4. tepar tepar tepar trus pagi gitu gue setengah kebangun gara-gara bokap ama nyokap ngobrol di kasur, agak bt -_- tapi akirnya bisa tidur lagi trus agak kebangun lagi jam 9an gara-gara nyokap ama glenny ama bokap bangun trus glenny mo pergi berenang. tapi akirnya gue berhasil tidur lagi :') akirnya gue fully awake jam sepuluan. udah gitu gue baca buku ampe jam berapa ya jam 12an deh kalo gak salah, tapi gak abis abis tu buku, asem. ternyata......... gue masih ngantuk. jadi gue menurunkan diri ke kasur jadi2an gue di kamar bokap nyokap (krn ac kamar gue rusak T_T) daaaaaaaaaan gue mulai nyari posisi enak buat tepar lagi (why does it sound a lil bit too detailed?-_-) udah kan trus gue berniat pasang lagu lagi dari hp. nah jadi gini, akir2 ini gue gatau kenapa lagi suka lagi denger lagu vanilla twilight. enak aja soothing gitu buat gue and most of all it reminds me of pedc. ahahaha jadinya bener kan gue pasang vanilla twilight sebagai lullaby, and so it inevitably brought me back again to pedc times, i really thought and recalled all these things when i was at the edge of slumber. gue demen banget ama owl city pas pedc. hot air balloon, the bird and the worm, ama vanilla twilight (yang paling sering didenger waktu itu sih the bird and the worm kalo dari gue, trus juga mrs. cold dari rut yang juga kemaren kita denger lagi waktu di pizza e birra truuus ada feeling this ama hotel room service ahahaha oke mulai melenceng). yang bikin berkesan buat gue adalah karena waktu itu kan gue pertama kali naik travel ke bandung, yah setelah bertahun tahun gak ke bandung deh keanya, cuman denger dari cerita bokap *sedih. trus pas itu pula rut ketinggalan ahaha dan berangkatnya jam 4-5an gitukan, evening's coming up lah pokoknya. that's great, i mean i rrrreally enjoy riding in a car and gazing at the pretty evening sky sambil dengerin lagu apalagi ahahah jadi selama itu karena gue bt dan males baca buku gitu, lagian kursi travelnya pw banget, i decided to enjoy my music. i remembered that i posted about owl city the very night before i left for phyxius, so well you can see that i already filled my ipod with his songs. trus yang menarik buat gue ya tiga itu ehe hot air balloon vanilla twilight ama the bird and the worm. jadi karena gue gak ngapa2in, gue bikin oath untuk ngafalin lagu2 itu sambil (berusaha) gak nyari liriknya di internet hahaha seru loh, lagunya lo ulang-ulang sendiri gitu gitu. abis gue bingung mo ngapain selama 2 jam gitu perjalanan ke bandung. jadi ya ujung2nya sih kalo gak salah gue gak afal ato gue udah fed up ya kalo gak salah gara-gara dengerin itu. tapi ya gue paling demen pas ngafalin vanilla twilight apalagi pas emang langitnya udah mulai berubah bener2 jadi twilight bahkan ampe jadi gelap beneran ahuahuah i really miss those solitude moments. gaktau kenapa vanilla twilight so very reminds me of the great atmosphere bandung offers. or is it simply as means of escapade from my boring routines sih i guess. ahaha the world was sooooo calm during pedc and even the ruckus was rather in control at that time. i was at peace with myself. pengen kea pedc lagi. the world had less colours yes, but those colours are the ones that matter most at that time and it fits perfectly.

hows this for random

2010-06-25T23:32:00.004+07:00

you'll always be a part of me i'm a part of you indefinitely and now i try hard to make it i just wanna make you proud i'm never gonna be good enough for you can't pretend that i'm alright dancing with myself oh dancing with myself cuz there's nothing to lose cheer up and dry your damp eyes and tell me when it rains i'll blend up that rainbow above you and shoot it through your veins were you really in love or was i just a game to prove to yourself you could get a man? wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong? can you still love me when you can't see me? or you will lose your chance to make your dreams come true i'll admit a cliche that things won't be the same without you we'll just have to wait and see if things go right we're meant to be here i am everyday since you said you'd come again it's not fair you're not here i wait in vain but nothing has changed

tee-hee

2010-06-24T11:12:00.000+07:00

dad i hope it's not an evil or inappropriate thing to do if i like economics better than physics. amen.

a little midnight amusement

2010-06-20T23:42:00.003+07:00

craft of a lifetime

2010-06-20T22:41:00.005+07:00

hari ini gue ke sma muhammadiyah lagi. akirnya tahap 3 afs kesampean juga. i'm one of them diversed 150 (so-called lucky) pupils. interaksi kelompok judul tesnya. banyak versi yang gue denger tentang tahap ini. ada yang bilang debat, ada yang bilang harus ngerjain proyek, malah ada yang melenceng yaitu unjuk bakat T_T tapi versi terakir yang cukup terpercaya menurut gue dan ya yang emang down-to-earth sama yang dari awal udah digembar-gemborin afs, whether you are capable to lead and be led. geez dude.
yauda ya akirnya gue nyangkut dalam pool yang terdiri dari 5 orang. nama anggota kelompok dadakan gue adalah irfan dari 8, wildan dari aduh gue lupa keanya tangerang (maaf danT_T), mine dari tuhkan yaampun gue lupa lagi (T_T) trus yang terakir si tesa dari sman 8 tangerang. ada kesalahan dikit. pas dipanggil pertama kali kita kan udah ngumpul gitu di depan, eh ternyata kita kloter kedua trus jadinya disuruh balik lagi ke tempat duduk, kesannya ga boleh ada interaksi gitu hahaha yauda akirnya giliran kita dateng. nama, sekolah. itu main thing yang gue tanya langsung ke mereka berempat, though at the end i forgot some of em (mine aja awalnya gue panggil meni meni -_- ternyata her nickname derived from her real name which is jasMINE). nyampe di depan ruangan tes gatau gimana kita udah bisa ngobrol cekakakan foto-foto dan teasing each other gitu intinye ga bisa diem. eventually we got 3 warnings from the officials to basically keep our mouths shut and refrain from doing any means of comunications before we enter the room. oke agak gak enak sendiri jadinya. dan akirnya masuk nih men. kita duduk di meja gitu, ditengah ada amplop coklat agak gede. jadi kita disuruh bikin apapun, name it project or whatever, dari barang-barang yang nanti bakal kita temuin dari dalem tu amplop. waktunya 30 menit, yearight happy casebuilding. oke dengan gak nyantainya, kita buka tu amplop. tesa ama irfan buka dari atas, gue buka dengan frontal dari bawah pake gunting -_- ternyata di dalem kita nemuin alat-alat yang cocok buat bikin prakarya (kertas buffalo a4, spidol biru merah, origami kuning tua, kuning muda, ijo, biru, ama item, benang kasur gitu, kertas mika, sedotan, stik es krim, selotip and that's about it kalo gak salah). oh god for godsake gue paling gak suka dan gak bisa untuk bikin yang namanya prakarya gaktau kenapa ya gue gak kreatif emang dasar anaknya kalo bikin gituan huu jadi curhat sedih sendiri kan nih gue tapi seriusan mood gue langsung aneh sedih gitu langsung down pas ngeliat begituan. yaudah jadinya setelah kea 1 menit, kita setuju mo bikin frame gitu yang pada akirnya dalemnya kita taro gambar kolase gitu (kata mine itu namanya kolase), karena kita bakal isi pake origami gitu gambar pemandangan yang biasa digambar anak tk, yaitu gunung. hahaha udah bisa kebayang dong ye, gunung matahari awan ama gue tambahin burung hahaha udah kok simple aja kite mah. udah gitu sedotan ama stick ya palingan buat hias pinggir2nya trus si wildan ngegambar emoticon muka-muka kita di sekeliling frame, trus di belakang akirnya kita tanda tangan hahaha udah deh selesai kea gitu 30 menit woohoo it was rather fun i've to admit. abis itu presentasi gitu dah dan kita nunjuk irfan padahal udah last minute gitu bodo amet dah lagian dia keanya juga yang kalem kalem gitu eeeh mau mau aja ditunjuk jadi ya udah. but then for me, the time of the 'presentation' was when the part went somehow wrong and so it results into this strange feeling. let's just call it dissatisfaction. hahaha iya gitu jadinya kea gue ngerasa kurang puas and somehow i realized that this whole test thingy has gotten into me. gue ngerasa ini jadi crucial juga krn kea i've gone this far and i've no idea just yet how i'm ever going to handle myself if things aren't ending like how i might've expected it to be. hahahah tapi overall i met particularly 4 nice people and not to mention si naufal temennya fa'i hahahah semoga lolos ya kita fal :D dan semoga kita lolos yaaaaaaaaa teammate dadakan kuuuuch. hahahah nice way to spend about 45 minutes with random strangers you just met! well that's about it. yea whether i'll proceed or not, i'm now inclined to believe that it'll be what's best and suitable for me. mr. J somehow spoke to me about it later today at church and i think that's what He's been trying to emphasize to me these days even before i took today's test and that's rather um soothing :)

yea one thing for sure i can't wait for the results, whatever it is. cuz dude i'm going to receive a letter! an official letter from an institute! ahaha it will replace the thrill of getting the letter i was supposed to get from National Exam thingy. and gee i really hope for the real best to for all 81 kids tooooooo! but heck least of all it's been a great experience nonetheless :D

2010-06-17T23:13:00.003+07:00

i have an undying wish to the people of Indonesia who are currently or who will be going abroad to gain education. please come back. you gotta help rebuild this nation. please please please help stimulate the growth of every possible assets this country has. i know you'll know when you have the capability to do it. okay? goodluck out there

an inner view

2010-06-13T23:01:00.004+07:00

X: and what about this matter?

Y: oh well i'm sorry but it's gonna be something regarding debate again.

X: oh, right.

Y: i'm sorry if i bore you with it.

Z: it's okay. i can see that debate has played a great part in your life.

i like Z's words :p

selesai!

2010-06-11T12:59:00.007+07:00

am done with ukk and all the official studying required in tenth grade! up next, saying hello to the last remedials of tenth grade aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand embracing 11th grade! dan untuk ngerayain, saat ini gue lagi nungguin delivery kfc! wuih!!!!!

jadi tu anak nepokin gue gitu ceritanya tapi agak apa banget gitu ya. gpp deh kali kali

-_-

first/tenth grader

2010-06-10T22:55:00.005+07:00

kelas 1 di tingkat sma. tahun ke-10 dalam sejarah gue ikut pendidikan formal di indonesia. agak jauh dan gimana gitu yah. intinya status gue dari dulu ampe sekarang gak berubah, masih pelajar. taon pertama gue di 81 berkesan kok, seriusan. banyak bet kejadian hal hal yang random banget susah kali ya dijelasin atu atu. one thing yang pasti, gue ngucap syukur dapet kelas 10-2. anaknya 'kalem-kalem' gitukan hahaha dan pas semester dua pula kita dapet bingkisan manis, 4 orang temen baru yang sama 'kalem'-nya hahhaha seru kok setaon ama mereka. susah seneng bareng. masalah dihadepin bareng. urusan (ngerjain) guru bareng, becandaan, nge-cak cak-in, mainan bareng. rusuh bareng, gosip bareng astaga bakal kangen banget loh. ltub, trip observasi, jalan jalan bareng, foto-foto trus juga ngomongin kuliah, doa-doain temen2 yang mau ipa ato ips trus yang mau masuk kuliah dimana-mana seru banget kan waspadaaaaa makasih seton ini ya! hahaha setaon emang cepet banget nih makdikipe -_- emang ya berasanya tuh malah pas mendekati akir-akir banget. convetional wisdom, for some cases, always apply T_T trus apalagi ya yah pokoknya berasa agak cukup sedikit lumayan berkembang kok gue nih hahaha jadi lebih gimana gitu ama idup. jadi tambah sering mikir. masih naif sih, tapi ya seenggaknya gue mulai mikir. walaupun jujur jarang banget gue mikirin pelajaran, cukup sedikit lumayan fed up yah kalo boleh jujur. jadi prinsip gue akir2 ini adalah belajar di sekolah. karena emang gue lebih nyambung kalo belajar di sekolah, entah diajarin temen, diajarin guru, ato gimana kek. lagian sekolah etdah bujeng dari jam 7 ampe jam 3. gue berangkat pas gelap, pulang juga kadang pas gelap juga. curhat gitukan. yang pasti susah konsen gue di rumah soalnya, distraction banyak hehehe trus one thing that makes me feel lucky because i'm still a first grader itu adalah dalam debat. i've seen some high school debater who debated since they're in 2nd grade and they somehow regret the fact that they don't start ever so early kea gue mita tika dan semua debater kelas 1-nya 81. dan gue ngucap syukur aja gue debat dari kelas satu, karena personally it's fun buat gue kan, so well at least gue bisa nikmatin satu taon terakir gue debat. swell! trus ini sekarang gue bersyukur gue ikut afs. hahaha tahap satu udah lewat, tahap kedua masih wish-me-luck hihihi tapi gaktau kenapa seneng aja gue ngomongin tentang afs, trus deg-degan nunggu pengumuman, deg-degan waktu tes, waktu ketemu anak2 Emerald yang juga afs, ngeliatin foto-foto alumni2 afs hahaha random emang. gue juga seneng nambah temen-temen baru dari debat. anak-anak daerah pula! seneng gitu jadi judulnya ada koneksi lah, jah dikate jaringan kali -_- tapi ketemu juga gitukan yang domestik, least of all Alvin hahahah wih pokoknya lingkungan gue waktu masuk sma tuh gimana ya menurut gue signifikan lah bedanya ama pas smp. tekanan tambah banyak loh idk why, dan gaktau gimana jadi lebih ngehargain waktu luang yang gue punya gitu deh. tambah bisa milih film bermutu untuk ditonton di bioskop wakakakak soalnya kali waktu smp waktu nonton tuh exceeding supply and demand gue banget gitukan -_- but i somehow still feel the same kok. masih gak bisa nge-judge sesuatu, masih males dan berantakan, masih gak bisa perhatian ama barang-barang, masih sayang temen-temen, masih demen nyari-nyari quotes, masih demen ngakak teriak2. dan liat sekarang apa yang sedang gue lakuin sekarang sebagai anak kelas 1 sma. belajar ekonomi karena besok ulum slash chatting ama pacar ama temen2 slash blogging slash sms-an slash mo dengerin lagu. wuih multi-tasking gue menjurus2 ke iphone4 (watdefak gab). for short, i love my life, though sometimes i briefly feel the exact opposite-_- but i hope you love yours too. remorse is a latter matter dude, that's why it's always there in the end. just to complete the story i guess.

TREAT!

2010-06-10T14:24:00.006+07:00

this is not an ordinary box, though it may really look like one.

simply because it contains..........

^ THIS!!!!!!! ^ (LOOK UP!)

Nesquik. one of the softest, spongiest, tastiest, most addictive chocolate snack ever to be distributed on earth. i'll enjoy my week with it :-)

and here's another bliss......................

thing is, Ocha brought Cadbury to school 2 days ago. once i dipped it in, i suddenly craved for chocolate so bad. i texted my sister's babysitter to get me a Cadbury pronto. but no i didn't get a cadbury that day. the following day, i went to Circle K with a great big hope of finding a single bar of plain Cadbury chocolate. but no i didn't get a cadbury either that day (instead i ended up with 2 bars of kitkat and astor). but today as you can see, my life's somehow filled with chocolate. what an indulgence!

Heartbreak Warfare

2010-06-09T17:49:00.001+07:00

Lightning strikes
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Just say so...

How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through at all.

It's a heartbreak...

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking *shit* again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak, heartbreak.

It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.

John, my heart breaks :'(

THE mr.dude

2010-06-09T15:30:00.005+07:00

an elephant at heart

!

2010-06-04T22:44:00.008+07:00

& DARHAN

we are the sagacious and passionate duo denale!

gosh i love you guys. good luck in science nor social! thanks for this well-spent first year :-)

xoxoWASPADA

if i ever feel better

2010-05-30T21:09:00.005+07:00

"dark is the night, cool is the ground, in the circular solitude of my heart. as one who strives a hill to climb, i am sure i'll come through i don't know how."

first step to be exchanged

2010-05-30T17:40:00.007+07:00

wihiw i passed the 1st selection phase of afs! the number's 1215 can you see that? yes i know it's too small -_- when esra told me that the results are out, i opened the browser in my handphone instantly whilst i was with ruth mita and tika, mita was eating in front of me T_T. opened babjakarta.org and then................ yay! i got in! :D wohoo psyched and stoked for the next phase. i got the morning shift (that's why it's a bummer-_-). personality and english interview, wonder how it'd be like. keep opening up that exact page though idk why. somehow excited seeing my cute little odd number there, all the efforts and fights i put up.............. gah that's just too over-the-edge. it's just the start and i know i'm going to have to exceed my limitations even more for the upcoming phases. hope i'd make it T_T i rrrrreally do. this thing's starting to reel me in! oh and congrat's to all my fellow emerald who also made it through the ever-so-crowded first phase. don't you just remember the overwhelming view of high school students craving their way through the hectic of finding which chambers you're supposed to be in, finding your chambermates, listening through instructions, finding schoolmates after the test and just blab about the previous queer and unexpected test you just encountered, and of course the waiting part? aaah and for my comrades who didn't make it i believe you'll have another slot, just waiting for the right time.

the next selection phase will be held precisely next week's morning for me (T_T). i gotta bring back the recommendation letters by wednesday. look i'm already planning to watch a movie after! whilst next week is final exam week! yea life's good. wish me luck :D

:)

2010-05-27T23:45:00.005+07:00

seeing this picture alone brings me a sense of convenience. a side of them uncaptured by the rolling cameras. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :')

halo!

2010-05-24T17:01:00.004+07:00

halo! saya punya obsesi loh sekarang. mau mulai sesuatu yang baru caranya sama dong kea glee, mengandung halo hahahah okeh, catat jamnya! err sekitar jam 5, abis kebangun tidur (masih pake seragam T_T) gara-gara adek nyalain laptop yang emang sih punya dia, tapi malah kemudian 'kelewatan' dengan nyalain lagu padahal gue lagi tidur dan mimpi buruk. padahal semua mimpi buruk gue itu biasanya harus happy ending dulu! -_- mulai aneh. oke. gue punya obsesi, semoga bisa diwujudkan tahun ini. gue bangun dengan keyakinan bahwa ada suatu hal yang emang harus gue jadiin obsesi, setelah selama ini ragu mau dinaikkin pangkatnya jadi obsesi apa kagak wkwkwk. yaudah semoga bisa kesampean. jadi kan gue bisa fokus gitu kan. fokus buat bisa wujudin tu obsesi, jadi ntar kalo gak kesampean, sedihnya juga sah-sah aja gitu kan hahahaha apasih. wuokelah, lanjooooooooooot!

if i were a movie star, i'd mingle with them-_-

2010-05-22T23:11:00.014+07:00

in about two weeks time, i accidentally watched 2 movies of hers. first one was Up In The Air. she played along well in the movie, regarding the shocking end of the movie. second one was Nothing But The Truth. she played smoothly as, i believe, her character demands. her character needs her to be independent and so she appears as that, independent. WOOH FEMINIST! -_- she was the damn prettiest actress i guess i'd ever seen so far. she has the cheekbones i've been craving for, gorgeous luminous set of eyes, firm and mature face structure, glistening charming teeth are shown-off (envy tone) in her smiles and yes, her short hair matches perfectly with her face. it's been curly, it's been straight, it's been fair, and brunette. all of it matches her in my opinion. gosh, why am i aware of her existence just now and not earlier? yea i mean it's less than 2 weeks ago that i first watch her act. simply gohrgas! she always plays this smooth character with a great ability of word-processing! yes, she's sarcastic and intriguing, her eyes hypnotizes. and i love her accent T_T

as Alex in Up In The Air, lover of the main character (i forgot, it's played by George Clooney) and that makes her the backstabbing wife, also. well played, madam!

as Erica Van Doren in Nothing But The Truth, the cover-blown-up CIA agent. she died in the movie, but with dignity! T_T

the images i put here doesn't really depict her true beauty vividly, so i suggest you to watch her movies instead wkwkwkw. she's an idol!

now the second one i believe is likely to be another version of Vera Farmiga. well, a male version one. Robert Downey, Jr. duh, he incentifies me to finally favor one comic-character-made-alive superhero. the one and only mr. Iron Man. gah! he's kewl and is not bad for an old guy. what more can you say? he plays along well also in Sherlock Holmes. he's well-made for those character. one thing that differentiates him from Vera though hahaha he's too narcisstic, or expressive is more like it. well i believe, again, his characters demand so. because basically, they're all intelectually well-educated characters! that suits his rebellious attitude as well as it suits his adorable face. i don't know how he's created.

he's not putting that much effort in looking astounding like this. suits his age! :P

and yes, he can be expressive. what an entertainer!

i'm somehow looking forward to seeing them both go head-to-head in a movie. yea well cause maybe Vera had played satisfyingly "against" George Clooney, but i believe Robert is a little bit different level and that'll also serve him as a different set of game for her. i want them to be my celebrity parents T_T

on politics

2010-05-22T16:53:00.009+07:00

"they tell us they'd have an incentive to only push their own policies... ladies and gentlemen, that's politics!"

-leader of opposition (ADMU), upon the motion This House Would abolish parties based on ethnicity (UADC Grand Finals 2010) ---> i don't know his name T_T dang!

UPDATE!!!
his name's Walter Wong wikikikiki

i miss these

2010-05-21T16:22:00.001+07:00

through the alleyways
to cool off in the shadows
then into the street
following the water
there's a bearded man
paddling in his canoe
looks as if he has
come all the way from the cayman islands

these canals it seems
they all go in circles
places look the same
and we're the only difference
the wind is in your hair
it's covering my view
i'm holding onto you
on the bike we hire until tomorrow

if only they could see
if only they had been here
they would understand
that someone could have chosen
to go the length i've gone
to spend just one day riding
holding onto you
i never thought it would be this clear.

irrelevance

2010-05-20T00:36:00.005+07:00

puyeng juga ye gue nulis =_= hem bentar lagi sekolah. well, hear ye people.......

procrastination is the killer of opportunities

-ngeliat di timeline Twitter

(swinging) wednesday

2010-05-19T22:40:00.004+07:00

today i indulged myself into dvd watching. udah direncanain sih dari pas sekolah karena emang gak ada kegiatan pas pulang sekolah jadi rasanya pengen buru-buru ngerasain sensasi dunia lain yang ditawarkan dvd. parah loh sekarang di sekolah gue rasanya ngantuk mulu pengen tidur hem. woooh tapi gue seneng gara-gara kartu im3 gue ketemu yes! jadi untuk sekarang masih kangen-kangenan ama im3 dulu ya wkwk yang xl lagi mati, am fed up with it anyways -_- tadi itu di mobil pun gue ketiduran dan gak enak banget ampe dibangunin om gue asli tidur udah kea duren, apacoba. trus udah deh masuk rumah gue langsung nyari Glee-nya Glenny. wkwkwk turned out she was watching it on next base. i instantly took it out of her "grasp", made my way back to the living room, plugged on the power, and sat myself on the couch. i miss being a potato-couch...............kangen loh udah lama gak nonton Glee. tapi gaktau kenapa dari episode 14-15 ini gak ada lagu yang bener-bener nyantol dan bikin gue pengen cepet-cepet download agak bt hem trus udah abis itu bokap ngajak nonton. jadi gue ke kamar, setelah abisin 2 ep (yes, only 2 T_T) dengan tujuan nyalain laptop dan ngecek schedule film. oiya gue juga mo cerita kalo netbook gue kan akir2 ini bermasalah karena virus kan...........................ternyata udah dibenerin ama temen bokap. dan seperti biasa, mereka bingung netbook gue kenapa. i've never been good with gadgets T_T this netbook hasn't even lasted for 6 months! gah, i don't know how to treat those things righteously i guess. yah hem udah selese curhatnya. yauda gitu kan ya sembari ngeliat schedule, nyolong2 juga gitu kan online msn twit gitu gitu. eeeeeeh lagi asik conference, ujan. enak loh hari ini ujan terus suasananya. tapi konsekuensi juga sih, internet jadi agak rancu gitu hem yaudalah. trus dc dc gitu jadinya yaudah deh tau tau gue pengen nonton dvd lagi, karena laptop menggoda banget minta dipasang dvd. so i watched Nothing But the Truth. keren deh thriller gitu. i have been broadening my favored movie genres into thriller since maybe a couple of years ago, when anxiety and other extreme feelings started to struck me even more frequently. i tend to get adrenaline rush and all that, well the most obvious one was when i watched Orphan all alone. yea, it was out of line for me. but i remembered i was devastated at that time and no other "good" movies were playing so yea i deliberately chose that movie. and it turns out those genres are cool. other titles i've watched are I Know Who Killed Me (watched with Amy :)) i m y), Premonition, Vantage Point (uh, if ever it's a thriller wkwk), Passengers (i really misinterpreted this movie by thinking that Anne Hathaway was still alive, but in fact, after my mom (yes, my mom) watched it, she enlightened me by saying that Anne was actually dead and that the movie's all just about her "spirit" still denying the fact that she's dead -_-), The Glass House (duh, it's on tv stations nearly every year or something). those sorts of things wkwk tapi ternyata gue baru tau kalo thriller itu sendiri macem-macem ah tapi intinya thriller itu seru endingnya when all is revealed :') udah ah i'm astounded by the movie i just watched i'm gonna tell you about it :D

it's about a tough journalist lady named rachel armstrong. adegan awal filmnya sih presiden amrik ketembak dan gaktau gimana the attempt of assasination itu diduga direncanain ama orang Venezuela. jadilah Amrik nge-bom Venezuela. adegan kedua adalah si rachel yang lagi di bus gitu ama bocah-bocah sd. biasalah ada anak cewek ngadu gitu rambutnya dijambakin ama cowok, nah trus anaknya si rachel yang kea nge-mock tuh cewek "ah tukang ngadu lo ahh, you're not supposed to tattle" gitu gitu hahaha agak irrelevant ya? wait til the end of the movie. masuk ke core movie --> si rachel nulis berita yang dia bilang berasal dari trusted source kalo ada kemungkinan bahwa Venezuela had nothing to do with that assasination (basically that's the whole thriller part. you don't get to know who her ever-so-secret-and-reliable-source is until the damn end of the movie), jadi kesannya Amrik ngebom Venezuela gitu gitu tuh cuman mau nyari ribut doang gitu kan kan aneh tuh. udah kea gitu, si rachelnya mau terus ngorek2 keterangan gitu kan, trus dia meng-confront seorang agen CIA yang anaknya satu sekolah sama anaknya. agen itu nyelidikin bener nggaknya Venezuela itu emang pihak yang pengen nembak si presiden apa bukan, karena berdasarkan source-nya si rachel, agen CIA itu yang ngasi laporan ke presiden kalo Venezuela tuh bukan "pelakunya". nahhhhh pertanyaannya adalah, darimana si rachel tau kalo agen CIA itu adalah agen CIA? karena seharusnya itu kea confidential information banget gitu kan, biasalah spy spy gitu harus nyembunyiin identitas. itu dia juga yang bikin si agen itu jadi gak nyaman yang ujung2nya kea nyuruh si rachel pergi hush hush jauh jauh gitu kan. udah selese kea gitu, tetep berita dicetak gitu kan. nama agen nya nyebar deh si siapa ya erica van doren. the news was a hit. tapi tetep aja ada pihak yang kontra karena itu source-nya si rachel udah ngebocorin informasi tentang keamanan nasional lah gitu gitu, dan terutama, ngebocorin tentang identitasnya seorang agen CIA. kasian deh, si erica nya ampe dateng dan nanya ke rachel gitu: "is it someone close to me? is it someone i work with?" kesian gitu soalnya erica-nya juga berasa dikhianatin gitu. rachel tetep bungkam ampe akhir film. sampe akirnya rachel udah mulai berurusan ama fbi gitu gara-gara gak mau ngasitau sourcenya. beneran deh ampe dia masuk penjara 7 bulan, gak ketemu anaknya, suaminya yang awalnya kuat eh lama lama malah selingkuh, perusahaan dia harus bayar denda, trus dia digebokin tahanan gitu. lama banget dia di dalem penjara loh. tapi dia yang kea tetep bungkam tentang source-nya dia, se-setia amat ya ckck soalnya tuh ada beberapa argumen deh hahaha kalo dari sudut pandang rachel dia gak mau bilang karena dia gak mau ngasitau karena dia gak mau dianggep gampang aja bocor gitu, trus dia ngerasa dia punya hak untuk juga ngelindungin source-nya. pertamanya gue sih ngerasa yang kea gila nih cewek sebegitu gak enak-nya kah ama sourcenya ampe dilindunging sebegitu banget sedangkan kalo dari pihak penuntut nganggepnya kalo ini udah bener2 masalah keamanan nasional gitu, dan gak seharusnya dari pihak CIA ada yang bocorin gitu kan. sementara buat si erica, demi alesan keamanan, anaknya gak tinggal ama dia tapi ama suaminya (hidup misah gitu), trus juga akirnya dia baru tau kalo ternyata spy yang dikirim ke Venezuela tuh gak cuma dia doang dan ternyata cuma dia yang hasil laporannya adalah Venezuela gak bersalah (soalnya dari awal film tuh keanya tuh cuma dia doang spy-nya, dan kesannya tuh dia kea sakit ati gitu karena gak didengerin pemerintah krn ya dia sendiri ngerasa kea percuma gitu kali ya dia udah nyelidikin tapi gak didengerin eeeh ternyata she's not the only spy) ampe akirnya si erica meninggal ditembak. sedih deh ckckck tapi ya udah sih intinya gitu doang tapi asli deh lebih seru kalo nonton. in the end, si rachel yang tetep gak mau ngasitau source-nya dipindahin ke prison. nah disini gue baru tau kalo jail sama prison tuh beda. ternyata selama ini, rachel tuh di taro di jail karena hakim yang ngurusin kasus dia tuh ngerasa kalo dengan di-jail it'll incentify her to eventually reveal her source. tapi akirnya sampe endingnya movie, si judge pun ngerasa kalo rachel emang tough jadi akirnya dia dibebasin. tapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii cacatnya si jaksa yang nuntun rachel itu emang parah. pas rachel bebas, eh dia langsung ditangkep lagi gara-gara ya itu dianggep "selfish" dan dianggap sebagai penjahat karena ngelindungin penjahat juga ckkckck sedih deh sampe akirnya di ending scene rachel mau dipindahin ke prison pake bus kan, eh di dalem bus dia nginget lagi kejadian di dalem bus (inget adegan bus yang di awal-awal?) yang jadi jawaban thriller-nya.

inget bocah cewek yang dikatain tukang ngadu sama anaknya rachel? ternyata adegan itu ada lanjutannya. setelah bocah cewek itu ngadu, ternyata gak berenti sampe disitu. dia akirnya duduk di sebelah rachel yang lagi bawa laptop dan ngetik gitu kan. biasalah bocah polos gitu nanya nanya "are you a writer? my dad's a writer too" trus kata rachel ya biasalah diladenin gitu, pas ditanya namanya, kamera ngeshoot ke nametag yang lagi dipake si bocah... "Allison Van Doren" udah deh hahahah ketebak kan? source-nya adalah anaknya erica sendiri. agak miris ya? soalnya jujur dari awal film gue ngebayangin yang bocorin tuh ya agen CIA sendiri gitu. bayangin si rachel idupnya berubah cuman gara-gara gak mau ngaduin seorang bocah. trus alison mulai cerita kalo (oiya bapaknya tuh duta besar gitu yang ternyata juga suka nulis) bapaknya nulis-nulis tentang presiden dan dia bilang bokap ama nyokapnya sering berantem gara-gara bokapnya make informasi rahasia dari nyokapnya. rachel mulai nanya gitu kan "what secret information?" alison bilang "from Venezula" rachel mulai mengerutkan dahi "what's she doing in Venezuela?" alison replied "she's working for the government" udah deh gitu trus rachel yang kea mulai get the big picture gitu kan, trus abis itu asli dengan muka polos banget alisonnya bilang gini kalo gak salah "but you promise that you don't hear it from me" rachel nya bilang "you bet" trus udah deh langsung abis gitu hahahah gile ye tu beritanya si rachel. ampe mau dapet pulitzer prize gitu ckckck tapi gitu ya keren sih itu kea feminisme gitu filmnya wkwk tapi ada juga waktu lawyernya speech dan itu................................kea debat wakakakak tapi kalo udah di pengadilan gitu gak pake waktu ya, jadi si lawyer ngomongnya juga pelan-pelan dan diresapi huh agak sirik.

yauda gitu doang sih mo cerita wkwk okeya have a pleasant day :)

xoxo, strawberry swing-ing me

five things in my happy-box (2)

2010-05-18T23:48:00.008+07:00

3. we made a new acquiantance, je. asli tu orang mirip bet ama teddy coach kite. inget gue nonton debat bareng mita ama dia ama ivan ama ege ama win gitu gitu trus abis itu mulai dah kite nongkrong bareng je, nggosip bareng, lawakan bareng, trus inget banget gue pas breaking night party............................................. kita bukannya nongkrong di venue-nya gitu kan, malah menyendiri ber-4 ama je di tempat yang gak banyak orangnya gitu. pertamanya foto-foto kan, yang foto gue rut mita di bawah pohon gitu gitu hahaha trus abis itu capek ngakak2, kita duduk. and we ended up sharing stories about school. high school especially. je cerita tentang excuse kucing melahirkan dia kalo telat trus segala macemlah dari rut mita ama gue juga. it was a nice night we spent with je hahaha beneran nyampah bener dah itu but it really was great! :D trus juga gue gak bakal lupa saat-saat nyampah kita ama ka anas ama erika waktu motion launch varsity! astaga, jadi markas kita tuh waktu itu di kea sektor sebelah panggung gitu kan, kita mangkal di bagian atas. ya sebenernya sih waktu itu kan cuman kita betiga, trus tau tau we spotted ka anas ama erika di bawah wkwk mereka lagi lost and found gitu, trus rut manggil mereka gitu kan. pas saat itu kita lagi yang kea orang bego gitu ngadem ngendon di depan ac ruangan yang super gede gitu kan. ALAY BET NORAK PARAH HAHAHAHAH trus udah dah itu rusuh dua naik tambah kacau dah. pada bolak balik di depan ac, ngadep ac, ngebelakangin ac gitu gitu hadeeeh hahahaha nah tambah parahnya pas mau motion launch! kita yang kea sok sok rusuh juga dari atas pada tepuk tangan pada teriak teriak juga sok sok seru gitu sok sok panik hahahah trus pas motionnya di launch yang pada kea teriak-teriak gitu

"woy LO-nya mana nih?"
"headingnya begituan lagi!"
"ban nomer 3 aja!"
"ah susah nih gue gak bisa motion nomer 2"
"eh preference-nya mau gimana nih?"
"yaudah 1-3-2 aja!"
"LO-nya ngilang nih!"

agak cacat kan itu beneran dah tapi hahahah gara-gara dibawah pada sibuk jadi they didn't pay that much attention to us so we did well i guess hahahahahaha trus juga ketemu anak-anak Bali and we talked about Glee, and of course ketemu anak CC, 14, dan SMUK1 bandung <3<3 abis itu gue rut nonton debat varsity. gaktau kenapa kita mabok galau terpana sendiri nontonnya ampe pas keluar gedung, kita jalan kaya orang mabok. mana gelap pula, sampe kita ngeliat sosok-sosok gak jelas!!!! wakakka padahal orang keanya! tapi gaktau kenapa kita kea aftershock nonton debat varsity yang itu tuh jadinya bener-bener stres dan kea gak jelas sendiri. langsung dah ngibrit gitu kan gak jadi hahahaha total tuh ya kita bisa sehari bolak-balik 4 sampe 5 kali dari fh menuju dan kembali lagi ke dan dari gedung-gedung yang udah gue sebutin di atas. ampe afal jalannya wuih! trus pas lewat kampus fisip berasa mahasiswa aja hahahaha *gaya. terus keliling ui, ngeliatin bookstores aaa ngeliatin pusat informasinya gitu pw pw. trus ngeliatin mahasiswa2 itu pada nongkrong di ui ampe malem astaga, pada bawa laptop karena colokan bertebaran di mana-mana, sambil ngerokok gitu baca buku duduk di lante ah keanya nikmat :') padahal itu malem minggu loh kalo gak salah wkwk eh iya tapi gue seneng karena akirnya gue berkesempatan naik bis kuning juga :') seneng deh hahaha asli gak perlu jalan karena pas itu debatnya jauh di psj wkwkwk adem loh di dalem bisnya (norak)

5. laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaastly would be my prestigious teammates. thanks mita, thanks ruth for the very pleasant times. thanks for the lessons and matters, thanks for all the chats, thanks for all the fun, and thanks for the experience. thanks for sticking up together until the very end. thanks for waking up early in the morning wkwk i'm sorry if it caused any harm and also thanks for mita's 'ear-catching' alarm tone LOL. i'm really happy we found the taxi when it was just exiting fh on the 1st night. i'm happy that we snatched a nice spot at the breaking night party, which is both the standing and the upper level of the canteen :p i'm happy for all the strolls and long walks we had, of course the debates we watched, and the pictures we took ;D and i'm sad on the last night because it was our last stroll through ui together as a team, because it's ruth's last alsa in high school and because it somehow concludes our first debating year in high school for both mita and me. i felt like crying when all the way home we kinda reminisce the whole year through and when me and mita bid goodbye to ruth when she was picked up at my place to then continue her winding journey in nsdc. aaaaa thanks for all those feelings. it's a once-in-a-lifetime for me :D
thanks a bunchies! it's been an honor debating with you hahahahah xoxo

those are the 5 scattered things that'll add up to my life experiences. i sometimes still can't believe i spent my first year in high school debating and loving it hahaha well now i just hope that the following academic year will be a good year and bring good prospects for 81 debaters and of course, its future debaters.

Salut :)

five things in my happy-box (1)

2010-05-10T21:53:00.011+07:00

cafek juga gue mengingat-ingat kebegoan gue pas alsa, re-writing about them now with my current condition and mood will not bring any good so i guess i'll be postponing it for an indefinite amount of time wekaweka i'm planning to just write out about whatever past debates i feel like writing at random times instead wkwkwk including right i haven't told you about some debates in neo, ysfd and scooter 14 (though i was just substituting only). well yea in this post i would just like to write some good stuff i wish to memorize from alsa ui 2010. it's my first alsa! it's also another way of saying that my first debating year is nearing its end. sekarang gue jadinya kangen alsa. basically gue kangen debat sih to be honest wkwk. i miss feeling dumb while feeling smart at the same time. i miss those time spent with debaters. i miss sleepovers. i miss fooling around with my team's LO. aaah LO. let's start with the Liaison Officer:

1. ka adit...........................................
hahahha anak fhui yang (unfortunately for him, hahaha i hope not ya ka ;P) jadi LO sman 81 di alsa ui taon ini. seriously all our past LOs have been quite close to us. awal-awal pas ketemu sih emang yang masih awkward-awkward gitu emang LO nya ama kita kan. gimana nggak deh, gini gue describe. ka adit auranya asli pendiem kul yang kea baik perhatian banget deh ama tim sman 81 ngak. dia dateng gitu kan ke kantin fh waktu kita lagi makan bubur. kucuk kucuk kucuk. abis mita telfonan ama dia gitu kan, ajib langsung dateng zegazeg. udah kea gitu kenalan2 gitu wuih role model college boy lah! apalagi ka adit tampil mentereng dengan jakunnya.................................yaiyalah -_- aduh nah udah deh kan awkward, gue mita rut yang lanjut makan dalam diem berusaha ngasi first impression yang gak kalah mentereng, HA! abisnya beneran dah ada wibawa gimananya gitu nih si ka adit yang bikin kita ngeri untuk gangguin. udah dah, sepanjang kita makan dia dudukkk aja di meja sebelah nungguin kita makan :')

there are other unexpected behaviours from this guy! wkwkwkwk first of all (no it's not behaviour, well not this one -_-) HE SINGS! downright he did! he's one of the FHUI choir guy gosh he sang wonderfully at the opening ceremony. no seriously, he opened his mouth and me and ruth and mita was like examining carefully. we doubted him at that time, but then i recalled his shoe. you bet i did, he wore a converse with a specific design! wkwkwk and i was like jumping and stoked all by myself seeing my LO sang on that stage hahahaha prideeeee! at that moment, we told ourselves that we're gonna make him sing for us later on! hahahah and we did! by the end of the 2nd day! uuuuu i'll tell it later! but another thing that distinguishes him from the other LOs i ever had was the fact that he was such a spoiler!!! wakakakakakk don't mean to spoil this but gosh he was the best spoiler LO i ever had so far! he beat ecrish from 14 hahahahahaha i don't know if he just couldn't help it or something, he nearly always tells bits about the result of the previous debate we had and it was just funny seeing how someone like him can spoil something like that. really you just wouldn't guess it seeing from his face. but then, by time you'll come into conclusion that he's sincere, kind, helpful, but maybe is kinda distinguishingly comical wkwkwk i'm happy i met yet another kind of LO :D and yes by the end of the 2nd day, he sings. we were just finishing off the day after watching varsity. on our way back to balsid, we stopped, we sat, and we forced ka adit to sing! hahahah asli he's nervous, i say! dia ketakutan juga tapi hahahah yang kea bener-bener asli malu banget kalo keliatan orang. kalo ada aja gitu orang lewat, dia langsung gak jadi nyanyi! all that time, we were waiting for a single song coming out of his mouth! hahahah but finally he sang. dia sempet tes tes suara gitu. asli itu nunggunya lama banget, dia juga katanya takut kalo keliatan seniornya gitu aduh si ka adit hahaha oiya dia dari smansa depok! sama kea bu asri guru kimia gue HAHAHAHA ah bagus deh pokoknya abis dia selese nyanyi, i had a photo session! ROFLLMAO there are other memorable moments with this guy. he lent me his jakun, NO! he lent me his friend's jakun because it had some kinda of badge that his hadn't. geee nice eh? thanks bunchies loh ka :D he stayed with us until the very final announcements. i remembered him saying sorry to us because he came late the day after the breaking night party because he got home at 11 (but hey, your house is still in depok area ka hahahaha) then i'm really glad that at that final night, each member of the team got a chance to take a photo with him wkwkw that's one of the things i treasure from each debate competitions :-D

behold, ka adit's in the Thailand shirt

so far, LOs i've had eventually get along with my somewhat 'ridiculous' team. at first maybe, we're just keeping it cool and trying to act nice and cute kid and all, but when some things triggered our bewildered nature, i bet they got astounded! one thing that i believe 'triggers' is the fresh-out-of-debating-chambers atmosphere. baru aja debat fierce gitu kan, mo fierce kek kagak kek wakakak pokoknya langsung menjubel aja gitu kan biasanya perasaan numpuk gitu hahaha trus sepanjang perjalanan ke debshall lah, we recalled all silly moments during debates and all. we laughed like crazy or whatever, that's one of the moments we bond with our LO. they'd just spill out their own comments of the previous debate. hey, they're spectators too nevertheless wkwkwk and since from the inherrent of it, every debate is somehow 'unique', i believe they also have their say about it. they're the ones who told us to cheer up when we think we underperformed. yea all those tiny thingies, but it matters see, someone we barely know for a day saying those things to us out of their own will. that's when they storm out their thoughts with us, even about how they felt about our opponents performance and all that wkwkwk and after it, the standings. all the nervy feelings we kept were somehow unleashed when we saw the standings. overwhelmed with joy. and i believe it also creeps inside our LO! i mean, we share the same burden and feelings after all! they also feel our edginess and all that cuz they're basically the one who 'takes' care of us. aaaaw i miss LOs. each one of you, i wish you luck with your education and really wish to see you in my next year ;)

2. right, the first part about LO just broadened itself into general level and has somehow become dedicated to my prestigious LOs from all those debating competitions! wkwk sekarang gue mau balik lagi cerita tentang alsa-nye. it's somehow a pre-alsa story. sman 81 taon ini nyaris gak ikut alsa. sempet beberapa hari apa minggu gitu kita fixed gak ikut alsa. i was like......... what? i mean of all those things i heard about it, i gotta wait til next year? but life goes on pipol how scattered i felt, i still kept the tiniest bits of hope in my dreams. gosh i even dreamt about it T_T jadi emang udah agak lama rut bilang kalo invitation alsa udah dateng. excited dooooong! kirain kita yang udah fixed gitu ya diurusin ama sekolah. seriusan di otak gue mikirnya kea gitu, gara-gara sekolah gue negeri. najis banget otak gue gak nyambung banget kan? ternyata tetep harus independen. gue rut mita ternyata tetep harus usahain sendiri. seriusan kita cuman bertanya-tanya doang satu sama lain, tapi pada gaktau harus ngapain! cakep kan? udah dari maret kalo gak salah kita udah yang excited excited tapi gaktau mo ngapain. sampe akirnya kita denger kalo teamcap tinggal seumprit. dari 50an quota. asli keanya itu yang bikin kita agak leha-leha, gara-gara teamcapnya banyak. huah pokoknya ya bahkan ampe tanggal 1 april pas gue lagi lomba di 14 (!) nanyain anak cc ama anak 14 udah pada daftar. okeya sirik to the max. sementara kami memble memble sedih gak bisa ikut. tapi waktu itu sih kalo gak salah emang kea udah daftar gitu kan, tapi kata mita waiting list. oke ya fine waiting list, nomer 6 tuh kalo gasalah. agak jauh juga kan astaga. tapi kemudian dapet pencerahan batin dikit dari Rio (WUIH ANAK ITB!!!!). taon lalu dia juga WL nomer 6, tapi dia bujuk2 panitia supaya bisa masuk dan akirnya ikutlah dia alsa -______- tapi taon ini kea hopeless gitu 81 udah gak bisa ikut. mita ampe nelfonin mulu gitu kan, dan keluarlah salah satu jawaban ter-hopeless yang pernah gue denger. "teamcapnya udah penuh. um maaf keanya coba kalian tolong cari lomba lain aja yaaa........" telah gugur pahlawanku banget gak sih T_T setelah berhari hari nanya kepastian gitu gitu gitu dan akirnya dapet jawaban kea gitu pas tinggal 2 minggu apa seminggu sebelom lomba gitu. ouchies bet. beneran nyaris gue gak ngarep lagi sampe akirnya aduh tanggal berapa gue lupa. gue inget gue lagi tidur sore wekeke asli terlelap capek. gue gaktau gimana bangun jam 6an gitu, gue masih inget suasana kamar gue waktu itu, gelap gelap gerah -_- gue langsung ambil hp esia, sesuai insting standar kalo bangun tidur kan. eh si mita miscall pas gue lagi tepar. mulai panik dikit. ternyata dia juga sms HAH GUE LUPA SMSNYA PERSISNYA KEA GIMANA! pokoknya kalo gak salah gini: GABY PICK UP NOW! PENTING!!! jujur gak pake boong, gue udah langsung positive kita bisa ikut alsa, gak boong asli, auranya mendukung banget. beneran gue langsung excited, gue keluar kamar kelabakan nyari telpon. gue telpon mita. dia teriak dan bilang kalo beneran kita bisa ikut alsa. tuhkan insting hewan emang sering banget bener............................................... seneng banget loh gue :-D
udah deh after that all the hectic of organizing what to do to welcome alsa. preparation buat nginep, nyari rundown acara, ngurusin surat ijin, minta doa restu guru (i specifically minta restu ke Pak Iklil, hem sekalian nyari tanda tangan surat ijin sih wekekek) trus minta doa restu anak 81 eds, baik ketemu langsung, maupun lewat twitter :') and so our chronicles in alsa began

i suppose that should wrap up what i'm downpouring for now okay --continuing atm

3rd round

2010-05-08T01:36:00.006+07:00

finally in this round, we got ourselves an opponent from mother earth dear hometown jakarta. SMAN 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T_T baru aja kemaren maen ke sekolahnya, sparring ama lomba eh sekarang........................................... oke cukup sedihnya. impromptu lagi loh hem, heading pendidikan. apa ya gue lupa motion2nya. kalo gak salah ada yang tentang thw pay teachers based on student's performance sama aduh satu lagi apa lupa. beneran deh ah bt gue, next time ada lomba pake preferrence gue pengen nyatet semua motionnya *gaya -_-. yah udah deh pokoknya dapet gov, motionnya:

THW grant financial incentives to students with high grades in school

wok wok wok wok wok. aneh yak? seriusan waktu dapet ini gue udah menjurus ke klepek-klepek sendiri. wadehel bangedddd ini pasti bakal ngelawan ujung-ujungnya anak2 bakal mau duit doang dan bakal use all means necessary to actually get access to this "financial incentive". hemmmm casebuild casebuild casebuild. set up nya di developing countries, yaampun kasus gue berantakan bener nih kalo di oversee lagi sekarang astaga. you must know something, i spent literally my whole speech to explain about mechanism. and this is how i messed up: i spent my precious 7.20 to elaborate a mechanism which is in the first place, unclear, second, lack of clarity, third, completely bullocks. I DON'T EVEN DIFFERENTIATE SCHOLARSHIP AND STUDENT GRANT! oke, itu disimpen sendiri aja gep T_T mana gitu nambah tekanan mental karena ada Je, tukang hear hear tapi tipu, dannnnn adju gue satunya adalah orang dari stpdn...................................killmenow. dan adjunya cuma dua. krik krik. parah banget jadi tuh gue jelasin deh mekanismenya, krn emang basically that's my whole speech (or point? pathetic huh? T_T), financial incentivenya tuh bakalan berupa uang yang dikasi ke 3 top students or something gitu. nah tapi itu bakal dikasi buat mereka yang kelas 3 smp dan kelas 1-3 sma. first, kenapa smp? (settingnya developing countries nih, read: indonesia -_-) kan wajib belajar 9 tahun itu udahannya di smp, ada tendency untuk orang2 gak mampu untuk berenti ampe disitu aja dalam upaya mereka ngasi pendidikan buat anak2 bocahnya. jadi dengan adanya financial incentive ini, diharapkan mereka yang bener2 niat bisa bener2 memaksimalkan kesempatan onoh untuk dapet duit buat lanjut ke sma. soalnya kea sekarang deh, beasiswa masuk sma kan jarang kan. nah lanjut juga ke sma, dengan alasan yang kurang lebih sama. huhuhu ancur banget. yaudah deh in the end, clashnya adalah dalam unsur motivasi deh kalo gak salah. dan bagaimana rut dan mita akirnya nge-clarify kalo yang dimaksut itu ternyata student grant T_T dan apakah student grant? itu bener2 duit raw yang dikasi ke murid. jadi beneran lo dikasi duit. tapi bedanya disini sama scholarship adalah, you can basically do anything you want with that money. kalo scholarship kan lo yang kea harus pake itu bener2 untuk sekolah gitu kan, tapi kalo student grant yaaa lo bisa bagi bagi untuk kea kebutuhan idup lo kek (karena di sini yang gov tekenin adalah buat mereka yang kurang mampu), apa kek, tapi ya juga kalo bisa untuk lo lanjutin pendidikan juga gitu. at first glance sih ya menurut gue cakepan student grant juga ya, apalagi worst-case scenario nya ya lo bener2 dalem utter poverty gedow. hem yah yaudah deh gitu dan juga itu palingan perang antara motivasi aja sih. kea motivasi buat poor people untuk dapet itu tuh lebih gede, beda sama orang kaya yang emang kea oke, fasilitas ada, tapi apa mereka ada motivasi untuk belajar segede orang kurang mampu? those poor people need to actually enhance themselves with ability. ability yang diharapkan bisa dicapai lewat pendidikan ini, and in that way hopefully they'd want to enhance themselves, apalagi dengan adanya financial incentive ini. ah well and as you can see as i'm nearing the end, i'm talking nonsense and i'm circling. that's because i haven't slept and it's already morning. ha! curhat. hem yaudah deh maaf ya kalo random banget huuu parah banget sedih gue gak bisa jelasin mechanism. padahal ternyata parah banget katanya kalo mo jelasin mechanism tuh cukup paling lama 2 menit pertama speech, tapi gue dengan pinternya dan dengan stuttery-nyaaaaaaaaa bacot 2 menit +++++ (liat tanda plusnya ada lima T_T desperate bener gue)

2nd round

2010-05-06T14:03:00.004+07:00

yak langsung beda gitu judulnya ama post sebelomnya -_- (intermezzo dikit, oke gue baru ngerti cara mengoperasikan link! COOL!!!!!) yeap okay next round came up within a zap. soalnya abis rounds nya high school langsung nyambung buat varsities hihihihi aaaaaa varsities! i adore thee. hem the following round's prepared. with the heading democracy which consists of these motions:

1. THBT Presidents should only be allowed to be elected once
2. THW establish a minimum quota in national parliament for candidate beneath the age of 30
3. THBT government should subsidize independent candidates

we were government. ngek speaking firstly eh gab? -_- right. and again, along the road we casebuild and i killed every intention i had to write on my debate book during that time. futile, useless, and only leaving out ugly handwritings which i will then erase eventually, when i have a proper eraser. the motion was:

THW establish a minimum quota in national parliament for candidates below the age of 30

heak this is the most 'untouched' motion in this heading. untouched as in we've never researched about it -_- well duh basically what to research in the first place? weks and then yea the debate goes on the idea of how these youngsters, believed by us, the government, will help sustain the ideas being upholded by minorities. well minorities as in people who are being somewhat considered 'rebellious' by the current government, consisting of mostly old people. and from this motion, again, i encountered another sociology lesson in advance given briefly by rut wekekekek it's about premordialism wekekek did i spell it right? yeesh. and but of course as what i would have done in their position, the opposition came up and said that the parliamentary is not a place for trainees, and how it's hampering competitions ualalalala i'm just not in focus now sorry T_T well that's about it for nowwwww and the adju was danny! wiiii yes, as in danny from unpar huaaa well okay i'm sorry and basically what i like in this debate is that danny liked both team's idea of democracy. and it's quite fascinating to me because from that moment on, one thing can mean a lot, and those diversity of meanings can all be righteously right. well in this case not that pretty much diversed, gah. okay danny said that gov came up with the idea of democracy as in the government should listen to majorities while at the same time also protects the minorities. minorities in this case, brought by the gov, as homosexuals or people who do street art laulalalaa. and the opposition brought the idea that the voice of majority itself already defines democracy, and it won't be as if the government inside the parliamentary would eventually change norms. well hem yea but seriously bolongnya banyak ternyata T_T deeper analysis is so vacant. i wish to do better next time though. and yes, ruth gave me another vocab: robust. she kindsa push me to use it when i stated out our teamline hahahaha i should've said robust with a strong hand gesture, she said. gah.

14th asian law students association UI 1st preliminary round

2010-05-06T12:30:00.009+07:00

whoo check out the title! sok lengkap gitu gue. gpp gaya dikit -_- okay so hence the title, the very first chapter of alsa ui finally drapes over me rut and mita. the balsid change place for the day and yippie-ly we didn't come late hahaha and of course ka adit was there to accompany us every step of the way. this new balsid was somehow more spacious for me wkwk, cooler, and brighter so we can actually spot faces hahahaha we sat at the back by the way. and yea finally it was motion launch. oyea alsa ui uses motion preferrences for the debates. and it was impromptu for godsake -_- but the prolog brought by ka pandu signalled classic impromptu debates are coming up. and yes hear hear it was. kalo gak salah it was prostitution and abortion and lastly about civilian use of firearms. seriously seinget gue itu klasik tapi tetep ya gitulah -_- we got negative. and so lalalalala we got the firearms motion

TH Supports civilian use of firearms

the thing that popped up in my mind was about the previous session about parallel example. ruth told a thing or two about it. an interesting fact. in switzerland, civilians are allowed to have firearms and sooooooo criminal rate in that specific country is, surprisingly (or not), LOW! COOL EH? jadi ya sebenernya hahahaha kalo lo ngijinin orang-orang punya firearms ya negara bakal aman hahahahah but no! we're here to oppose that! wkwk and you must know that we were up against rut's former school in balikpapan T_T yep so after we preferred the motion, hundreds of high school debaters rushed out of the balsid along with college students in yellow jackets. chamber gue rut mita ada di mana ya waktu itu hem lupa gue hem kalo gak salah pusat studi bahasa gitu ya apa apaaa gitu T_T yah pokoknya agak sedikit berjarak lah dari fhui tapi emang chamber2 debat alsa ui emang gak di fh-nya. bweeek. nah ya udah deh gitu kan sepanjang perjalanan kita casebuild dan ruth ngingetin tentang veto rights HA! gak ngerti kan? gue jg gak ngerti awalnya tapi ujung2nya adalah tujuan tu motion adalah untuk mencapai peace weks. sepanjang perjalanan gue berusaha untuk nulis tapi gak bisa, tulisan gue ancur -_- jadinya seeing those futile efforts, i spent my time on the way to just contemplate and casebuild by talking only with ruth and mita. kita yang bersemangat sempat kehilangan tuntunan kakak LO dan sempat panik (dikit). akirnya kita nyampe loh hahaha agak jauh. trus yauda deh abisa itu kita duduk ngejogrok dikit and seriously casebuildnya kea udah setengah selese gitu -_- jadi ya palingan gue ngembangin kasus sendiri sementara rut palingan latian speech sama mita desperately berusaha me-rebutt sendiri hahahaha kesian 3rd speaker weks canda mit. and then the debate starts.

look at my note ^

ADJUNYA RAJJJJJ -_- dan muka dia kea udah bosen gitu ngeliatin sman 81, sorry raj *cling cling cling. okay ternyata gov maju dan ngebawa mekanisme dimana mereka bakal kea ngasi nomer ke tiap bullets yang bakal dikasi ke civilians. pokoknya intinya tujuan mereka nantinya adalah gini, kalo misalnya ntar ada orang yang ditembak, polisi bakal gampang nyari pembunuhnya karena di bulletnya ada nomer. ngek gue agak bingung disitu, akirnye gue maju dan gue bilang (berdasarkan hasil fakta baru yang gue rut mita dapet dari previous debates, tapi gue lupa debat yang mana hem) bahwa criminals are smart. they'd do anything to outsmart the law that may prohibit them from doing their crimes. gue bilang bisa aja mereka ambil lagi tu peluru dari badan orang yang ditembak dan kabur -_- (dan hal itu terus ditekanin ama rut ama mita! YAY) agak shallow ya mungkin? tapi bener loh bisa aja kea gitu. yegak sih? nggak keanya ya -_- yak begitulah dan poin gue adalah tentang gimana dengan kalo dikasi senjata orang bisa make sesuka suka dan malah gampang aja bunuh2 orang kalo misalnya emosi hahahah aduh 2nd speaker mereka bilang "ladies and gentlemen, i am insulted. the 1st speaker of the opposition is maybe someone who cannot control her emotion, but i can!" kira kira dia bilang gitu dan rut ngetawain gue -_- dan ternyata emang poin gue itu assumption doang dan gue malu dikatain gitu T_T begitulah dan debatnya berkembang menjadi ngomongin illegal market gitu gitu seru deh oiya dan gue lupa bilang kalo ka indah dan ka gerry nonton! aaa moral support from 81 former debating kids :') yah yauda ya imma tell about the assesment. HAHAHAH raj started off with a somewhat bleak (ahhahaha) "halo sman 81" sambil melambaikan tangan hahahahah sorry raj. and another thing i remember him saying was our idea that criminals are smart was out of the box! hahahaha he said we're smart and so i made a conclusion in my debate book (out of randomness), and this shall conclude this post for now.

criminals are smart
we are smart
------------------------
we're criminals (-__-)

i'm currently working on the next!

heylow may-o!

2010-05-01T17:26:00.005+07:00

hey it's may! and i'm here to pay my debt hahaha imma tell glimpses of alsa! yaaay. hahah first day yaaaaa :-D gash i've been delaying for like indefinitely -_- right here goes.........

mita and ruth stayed at my place the night before. gosh i forgot the stinking date T_T yah pokoknya gitu lah, we're stoked that tomorrow's alsa hem well the first day's all about the introduction to alsa and stuff. seriously on our way, i was already nervous. but my two lovely comrades were as calm as ever -_- dan gue baru inget kalo hari ini belom ada round debat hahahah makanya mereka masih bisa ketawa2 dan mereka bilang bahwa mereka akan deg-degan butterflies gitu besokannya and so i concur. we attended the debating seminar, rules and regulation thingies, saw a cool exhibition upon a motion about gays! wohoo kalo gak salah tentang this house ngijinin gay parents to adopt kids uuu heart it! wkwk and of course one of the most thrilling agenda of the day............... meeting up with debaters!!! seeing old faces new faces of them. varsities high school. jakarta bandung bali kalimantan medan depok banten. guys girls. it's utopia (quoting ruth wkwk) kangen banget loh parah hem trus ya tau tau pas lagi nonton ka pandu lagi ngasi presentasi gitu eeeh kucuk kucuk kucuk dateng si bocah dari bandung: ivan audrey! gaktau kenapa kalo ngomong ama ni bocah bawaannya seru aja dah hahahah aduh udah kangen gue kan ama lo van T_T *curhat. trus parah banget it's like throughout the presentation, gue ivan rut mita gitu yang ngejogrok duduk di lantai instead of the lovely chairs provided wakakak dan ngegosip segala macem ngobrol segala macem ama si bocah dari bandung ini, padahal tempat kita duduk itu is obviously in the middle -_- okeya and the day as the other, ends. padahal hahaha kita berangkat pagi jam 7-an gitu kan dan dengan cerdasnya malah ngelilingin UI karena gak tau FH ada dimana! hahahah seriously it was bener bener hahahahaha UI kita kelilingin dari depan ampe belakang, sampe akirnya all of us inside the car (including om boris mbak uti dan adek gua) knew that there was a stadium and great big lake inside the University of Indonesia -_- hahaha dan kita sempet nanya orang lalala dan keputer puter tapi ya ujungnya nemu juga sih hahah aduh padahal itu deket banget ama pintu masuk. agak malu. oyea and when we finally got there, tempatnya masih blm buka gitu aduh i remembered when we were to register, we saw billy and others and yaaaah it was fun dan balai sidangnya, imma call it balsid from now on, mirip banget entrancenya sama entrance deb's hall binus pas neo huuuu kangen neo. oke cukup. hem dan yaudah deh gitu and then there we met win fortunata, the fortunate guy from medan ahahhaha i miss you, son! i know you miss us too :') and well yea rut took me and mita to have breakfast at the fhui canteen kan and then we met our LO for the first time there, his name was Ka Adit. he wore glasses and he's funny and just memorable aaaa ka adit! baik dia baik yaampun nungguin kita makan bubur T_T and so so so we 'trashed' ourselves in UI until after the opening ceremony. we were there until lateeee and we somehow sparred a bit hihihi seriously it was until quite late we stayed there. around 6 or 7 hahahah what i remembered was that we were exhausted when we were in the taxi and oyea we really found that taxi by luck. it was just getting out of FHUI and me rut mita just saw that the light on the car, fortunately, was on huaaa life's good for the first day hahaha and then yea we got back to my house. quite a bit too exhausted and yea we just ate and then hem yea we slept. still bearing in mind that the game was to start just in a few hours after our slumber..........................................................

dad, i need your sign, period. T_T

2010-04-30T23:29:00.007+07:00

a parent's signature can mean a lot to you. a thing you might not care about when you're just a little kid, a thing you might believed was utterly unimportant. even until when you're somewhat more grown up. but realize it or not, you need it for essential things. to sign your report book, perhaps. see when you were just a little kid, you might think it's just a waste of your precious time to give out your report book (unless you're too much proud of the numbers and appraisal it contains), shove it to their hands, they'd then automatically sign it. you'd think that your parents care enough for you so that it's just some minor things that does not represent their careness towards you. talking about report books and grades, you might even think that your parents play a very small part within your effort of reaching those wondrous scores. you can do it all by yourself. but see you still need them. eventually, you'll miss their concern. because actually, their sign indeed is a sign of care. they'd spent some of their time to check out your grades, think about what you've done throughout your whole academic year. and at the end, they'll sign it. that's about the process though, based on my nearly 9 year of observation (kindergarten doesn't count. well yeah, i can't remember and so it doesn't count -_-). and at the end of the day, when you're recalling your life (in my case, looking up my report book), you'll find yourself somehow shocked to see no signature was written at one of the very peak of your education years. reality check. at the very age in which i believe we're somehow (supposedly) more mature, we still need our parents. i still need them, at least to actually sign my report book.

start here

2010-04-24T11:02:00.003+07:00

i'm finally done with alsa ui! it's a debating competition sih ehehehe well yea it's one of the major target of my coach, for us to well win it. and see it's like one of the major competition that's been emphasized from the very first time i knew english debate. i remember quite well the way my seniors described it. can't believe a year's passed, and i was finally debating in alsa ui. tiring as it is, it's been great :-) as my seniors said, it's a great big major competition. yes indeed i can't agree more well why am i circling then? hahahah i don't know what to say! time's short i guess it is the prolog of what i'm going to write about alsa then, about debate, and about the profound matters regarding it :-p see it's my first, it's mita's first, it's ruth's last. it maybe is the last of this term for me and mita, but it's the last for ruth, period. huaaaaaah i hope these memories will simply last. seeyou soon

2010-04-11T21:50:00.002+07:00

am sorry for myself. dang prick.

on Easter day

2010-04-04T21:33:00.004+07:00

i am here because of Your grace
i am here because of Your love
Lord Jesus, i am so thankful
for Your grace abounds to me

thank you Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, thank you Jesus
it's only by Your grace, that i could live today
forever i will praise Your Name

thanks for everything, Lord. ilY, and thanks for loving me back eversince the beginning of all things :-)

WORST FEELINGS EVER! (comic book guy style)

2010-04-04T18:38:00.005+07:00

T_T

1st is when a family member of mine is being teased or insulted eventhough i know it's actually for laugh only, though in some cases it is being done out of utter anger by my friend.
example: nyokap gue ato siapa gueee gitu dikatain temen. inget banget tuh gue, kalo gak salah di angkot -_- dikatainnya sih pake kata-kataan normal gitu.
future impact: tu orang pengen gua tonjok mukanya ampe benyek.
why it is a bad feeling: gaktau kenapa kalo bukan anggota keluarga yang dikatain, gue gak bakal semarah itu. mending gue yang dikatain daripada keluarga gue. gak demen aja.

2nd is when i did something bad or reckless that creates significant harm.
example: waktu itu gue masih sd. masih sd, yaampun. di ilp, gue terhasut temen gue untuk ngisengin guru gue. jadi gue naro tong sampah kecil di atas pintu yang agak kebuka. jadi pas guru gue masuk......... gubrak. tong sampahnya nimpuk pala dia. dia langsung gebokin anak kelas gue satu-satu dan mogok ngajar, sejam. really sorry from the deepest part of my soul, Mr. Agus T_T
future impact: nyesek parah. yang kea. oh shit, i screwed up REAL bad, period. yang kea bener-bener butuh mesin waktu banget yang bener-bener pengen mendem dan meringkuk di pojokan tergelap di dasar bumi
why it is a bad feeling: GAK ENAK LAH. kea "hey i should've been able to prevent what's already happenning right now. dang you, adrenaline rush-_-"

3rd is when people talks, laughs, chats, and talks on the phone during specific times and specific place
example: when i heard unimportant voices (or even worse, laughter) when a crucial scene plays, usually when the room somehow was suffocating of dead silence at the movies..............that would clearly ruin the moment
future impact: gue bakal gemes sendiri, dan at some time bakal nge-SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH trus berusaha konsentrasi balik lagi ke film sambil berharap gak bakal ada lagi intervention -_-
why it is a bad feeling: need i say more? dude, you're ruining the moment, my concentration, and my personal ultimate feeling of pleasure and sanctuary -_-

4th is when people call me for what i'm not, though i can't prove explicitly otherwise right at that moment (regardless my uncontrollable eagerness to prove so)
example: recently, a teacher of mine called me a hypocrite because i copied a work of my friend. seriously, i swear, i already did that task all by myself. i admit i didn't study i forgot how to did it. last-minute panic brought me to that last resort, copying from a nearby friend. though i already told him that i DID did the task and was forgotten of how to answer that specific question, he called me then a hypocrite. why? when he called my name to do the answering, i stood up right away. so then, after i sat back down, he called me a hypocrite because he believes if one does not know how to do something, you shouldn't ACT like you do know. well darn it, i did know. i fought the suffocated feeling inside my throat, the urge of crying. i loathe the guy at that time so much, moreover myself, somehow
why it is a bad feeling: it's not good see, that feeling of somehow people don't trust you yaaaaah trust me it's bad. you'd wanna prove with might that you're not what they say

well that's all. maap curhat -_- gnight

1st

2010-04-01T23:28:00.006+07:00

been wanting to write recently. but haven't found a reasonable reason to actually write without the tendency to jump over topics, as of what i'm feeling recently. so, okay now i found a somewhat justifiable reason for me to write. april fools day. okay for real, i've never taken much concern about this day. during junior high, i only do some light jokes, like "hey, the teacher called you" or "hey, your friend's waiting for you inside the bathroom (seriously, to converse or talk privately. not to do anything, awkward-_-)" i've never, i mean NEVER, thought that pranks played on april mop can be as evil a scenario as this one i'm going to present to you.

i went to sman 14 on april 1st, without actually giving out any much concern upon that day, to substitute a friend in a debating competition...................... okay let's just go straight to prank. so there i was, sitting with the 81 contingent in the debater's hall. then, that stinkin guy, Erry, came up to me, started to talk about this NONSENSE (now that i know what it was -_-) what nonsense? i must admit that somehow it was a clear case, a somewhat decent scenario of a prank. some good first speakers must've been involved (merely assumption-_-). first, he came up to me and some how somewhat stated his confusion upon my showing-up in that competition. he played it smoothly-_- he said that there's this case happening to my coach, Teddy. Erry said that Teddy was said to have leaked motions of 6th NEO to his kids who participated in that particular competition. and so, all 81 debaters who participated in that competition are to be banned from competing in debating competitions. i forgot how i felt, then -_- i was shocked, it was indescribable, i mean not to be able to debate and all, cuz aaaah it's just essential to me T_T then, that man sorta brought up another irritating fact. he said that Ruth might lose the chance to actually debate in isdc. omg. and he also somehow said that i shouldn't be in this competition in the first place, so he told me he was shocked to be seeing me there. at that moment, i felt like i was an illegal item -_- as if i'm smuggling myself in. seriously. okay that's first. then, (I SHOULD'VE FELT SUSPICIOUS) about 5 minutes after Erry speak up about it, oh right. and that man acted like it was something that shouldn't be exposed or something. he gave out a facial expression of shock (yes, only the mimics-_-) because i didn't know that information. and he just like said, "okay, you didn't hear it from me." and i was like, oh god. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! okay i believe that concludes the first act. then Ruth asked me to call her, and said about the rumors (after asking out about the competition-_-). i responded to her gloomily. then, in a panicked tone, she asked me to call Teddy to clarify this stinking thing -_- then she said things about us going to meet Teddy later on that day, and that she's gonna go to 14 etc etc (BULL). okay that is like, one of the most depressing of it all. because during that time, i called and talked to her in panic and she kept on insisting me to call Teddy. but Teddy never picked up the phone eventually -_- and i did all those things at the very corner of the auditorium. sitting on a chair, leaning on the wall with my legs up on the chair, depressed kind of way. so i dumbly kept reporting to Ruth that Teddy didnot pick up my phone, and so Ruth 'decided' to go to 14 to then come to Teddy and clear up the matter in hand. she even said that she's gonna get outta school, period. she's gonna skip school, as in being a truant for the day. that concludes act 2. but then, after a round of debate (T_T), i came out of the debating chamber and along came Erry. i hate the way he came and always brought bad news, well for that particular day. he kinda asked me about practice sessions at school, about my coaches (Teddy and Bryan). like how often does Teddy come? and Bryan? but in conclusion, what he was gonna tell me was the fact that Teddy's gonna resign, meaning he will no longer coach 81 again T_T well i suppose it was the third act. again, i felt like a bit devastated. like how could something like this come tumbling down in just a short period of time, in one day, when i can't do simply anything about it T_T okay then, this is the final stinking act. when i was on my way to deb's hall. i got a text, it was from Mita. saying that on their way to 14, they got an accident. Ruth broke her arm and she was unconcious. omg. how could a series of bad luck occur like that? okay. don't really wanna explain how i felt at that time, i nearly cried -_- but then it was all only an april mop joke. it was even more than a joke. it was a set-up. thanks for making me feel the ultimate stinking april mop of my life, damn actors and actresses.

oh no!

2010-03-30T20:45:00.003+07:00

udah masuk sekolah! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. baru dua hari udah tertekan T_T

nerve breakdown

2010-03-29T00:00:00.005+07:00

in the midst of midnight, i rule the house! wiw! well not really. imma spill.

kadang gue suka kangen loh sama lo. tapi kadang doang. kea sekarang gitu hahaha tapi gue kangennya tuh karena inget yang baik baik tentang lo gitu. soalnya lo pas lagi keluar sifat yang baik gitu, yang gue suka, rasanya sayang aja ama lo gitu kea tiba-tiba. tiba-tiba doang loh ya. hahahah tiba-tiba yang kangen chat ngobrol gitu, atogak sms dah wakakak tapi itu dulu kan. hm perasaan emang indefinite. berubah-ubah kan ya. wiiiiiiih susah jelasinnya dah, tapi kea apa ya rasanya lo tuh tau gueeee dan itu malah tambah bikin bt karena ya gitulah tapi kadang doang ituuu. wakakak kalo gue udah normal lagi, palingan lupa :-p tapi sekalinya lagi keinget, bedeh senyum-senyum dah wedew ah udah ah -_-

breakdown

2010-03-28T22:16:00.004+07:00

i used to think maaaybe you love me, now baby i'm suuuuurrrreeee. and i just can't wait 'til the day when you knock on my dooooorrrr. *tereetteeereeeeeet i'm walking on suuunshiiiineee, woaaaaaaah. i'm walking on suuunshineeee, wooahuaoah. and don't it feel good!

occurrence, errands, and somewhat something

2010-03-28T21:24:00.004+07:00

april's coming. what's on? there's gonna be a debating competition at sman 14! woohoo psyched! again, april's coming. what's on? there's gonna be a somewhat major debating competition at ui! woohoo even more psyched! but what's behind each of them? i'm not ready for 14. my mind's kinda worn out. too many motions i'm getting full. not in the mood to research? well i don't know, cuz from what i can see, i do do some research but it's boring me somehow. it's like hell yea i already know it, so what else? and i hate that feeling, the feeling of somewhat being content. i hate not being reluctant towards it -_- interesting motions they have though, i must say. but my mind's been wondering off about future events i can't concentrate well enough. shoot. ooookay what's next on the agenda. alsa ui. what's on (or off T_T) with it? my school is the 6th school in the waiting list. shoot. one of the most anticipated of it all. we're waiting, no guarantees we'll make it T_T that schmucks! been like pondering, thinking, contemplating, planning, grinning, dreaming, feeling small, imagining about it. but what an occurrence, we're listed as waiter. uuuuuuuuuuu i really wanna join though, it'll keep my mind off the somewhat dreary future (or present T_T). well how can it be? when it actually is the somewhat dreary future i mentioned? contradictive.

Glee

2010-03-24T00:45:00.004+07:00

lagu-lagu Glee dalem iTunes:

1. Maybe This Time
2. Dancing With Myself
3. Ride Wit Me
4. Defying Gravity
5. Don't Stop Believing
6. Halo + Walking On Sunshine
7. Sweet Caroline
8. It's My Life + Confessions pt. 2

the l word

2010-03-20T22:59:00.003+07:00

maybe this time, i'll be lucky.

in what way? i suppose i should feel that i already am. there's broad definition of luck, i believe. different. every people can feel lucky anytime, depends to them. you can feel lucky by (the most commonly used "term" of being lucky) winning the lottery, having great people surrounding your life, being able to sing-a-long to a lovely song to your ears (making you want to be able to let out voices like the singer. that, i believe, is one of the reason i sing), enjoying your heavenly moments of solitude, recalling the best things that's ever encounter you or you've encountered in life. but one simple fact i can say is that, these thingies don't last. it's sad, eh? i just wished quite just now that i could put every happy lucky positive feelings i ever had in my life in a box. i won't know what to do with it. i just want to have somehow a proof that those things actually happen in my life, that i've done something that actually makes my life worthwhile, well at least at that moment. it's a nice feeling, though, that lucky feeling, for me. i can smile and eventhough there are people around, i feel a brief moment of solitude. and that's just about it. me, myself, and my imaginary box i can never have.

2010-03-20T02:21:00.006+07:00

"Everybody loves a winner, so nobody loved me.

Lady peaceful, Lady happy. That’s what I long to be."

Maybe This Time by Glee Cast

long time no opening blog

2010-03-19T22:25:00.003+07:00

hello. i'm currently obsessed with words. i love my alfalink and my dictionaries. i'm also hating the fact that i learnt loads of new words, which i pathetically cannot remember T_T seriously. i rrrrrrrreally would like to be adding some new kewl (CAELAH) words to my vocab. TAKE TIKA FOR EXAMPLE! she 'invented' this kewl vocabulary book, which she decorates with kewl colourful thingies with cool 'preambule' (iye, preambule. karena kata-katanya diplomatis banget udah kea pembukaan uud -_-). i've been like, longing to create a book akin to hers. i created one during my times in secondary school. it was an english task hahahahah but now i lost the friggin book -_- WELL IT WAS AN UGLY ONE ANYWAY *looking away, wiping tears. no really hahaha it wasn't a decent book (compared to Tika's anyways) to be "poof"-ly turned into a vocab book. i got that book from Timezone for crying out loud -_- okay hem what else am imma spill? damn. i lost my will to writeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee T_T okay. just wait for it.

okay. i can't write anymore. something's jammed. bye

implemented wishes

2010-03-01T17:54:00.005+07:00

implemented wishes is my word of saying that i've a wish or dream, that i know i can actually make it come true, but then there comes options. options for me to not actually work on my dream, but to actually do another thing, another wish. at first glance, it's as beneficial as my first wish. it seems better. but then eventually, i'll say no to whatever options that came. 'cause i know from the very start that i will pursue that alfa dream of mine. the one that i actually believed in from the very first point. so here goes one

i've always, say, longed for a long gray skirt to wear during high school. yes, public high school. despite the fact i've been going to catholic school, for like 12 friggin years of encountering education. yes the difference and so-called premonitions are clear now for me. still i can't forget the way the 13-year old, 14-year-old, and 15-year-old me used to had some brief glimpse of myself wearing and actually wearing those kinds of uniforms to school. it's been implemented in me. idk why. there are, i believe, intentions to actually not wear those skirts. as in, not going to a public high school. yet, the pull of it still attracts me. and now i can't even decide whether i regret this decision, or otherwise, whether i believe this is just the bravest decision i'd ever taken. see eversince kindergarten, mom and dad always picked out a school for me. just by luck, it's always been private schools. dad said he wanted me to enjoy what i should be enjoying during those ages of kindergarten, primary, and secondary school. and then, he said, i should be getting "serious" in high school. yes, i've always imagined myself going to a public school though. to be frank, eversince i'm in elementary school. i yearned to go to public schools. but then they put me into another catholic school, in which i can't deny i did actually spend some great moments there. even i was nearly indulged to actually repel my kept-in-the-dusty-old-box wish. cuz see, when i'm enjoying myself, especially during those secondary ages, i refuse to foresee what's coming for me. that domaining part of it includes, making decisions for my higher education. well que sera sera, see what happened to me now. i got my wish! i'm wearing long skirts to school now. evenmore, i wear long-sleeve shirts! hahahaa not quite what i expected though, the long-sleeves :p but well yeah, i believe i do make a right decision for myself. besides, this is the first school i chose for myself. all this time, my so-called implemented wishes have been coming true. up to this very moment, despite the fact that i can no longer chill as i expected. the thing i dreamt that i won't be doing in high school. and oh yes, the fact that i actually have to sacrifice my time at home to study. well that, i haven't been able to apply. it's hard to change the ongoing 12-year-old habit of never studying hard at home -_- ohyes. i. am. lazy. yea well basically, the being tense everyday at school cuz of the lesson thing, that's the major downside. put that aside, i have my wish. don't need to furthermore elaborate per points though hahaha somethings i still keep to myself. things regarding other implemented wishes of mine. seeyou when it comes true! or if it doesn't, well yea i'll speak of it later on someday!

xoxo

reminiscing

2010-02-28T19:38:00.003+07:00

it's a beautiful day
now i'll be okay now that you're not away
yesterday was a terrible day
but now that you're here i'm ok

cuz you don't know how much i, i need you
please don't go
you're so wonderful
this i swear this i know

you oh you
every single thing you do
i'm so proud of you
what you do
when you do the things you do
they're so you

so thanks for your help
you shine so bright
you are the star that's in my sky
and i am yours
and you are mine

whoa you whoa you
every single thing you do
i'm so proud of you
what you do
when you do the things you do
they're so you
and i'm so proud of you

that's so you

who i am! (an iRamble of a 16-year-old-_-)

2010-02-27T02:06:00.009+07:00

i'm a first speaker. i'm proud to be one. to be speaking firstly for my team. i know i'm not yet good at it, i'm still searching for the right grip to be a good one, though, the one above average.

to not only build a strong ground for my team, but to also give out a clear stance to the adjudicators upon what my team wants, upon a clear setting of the debate, upon where the debate should go. cuz i'm the prime minister, i'm the ruler :p hahaha backgrounds, stances, parameters, definitions, last but not least arguments. don't bother giving me POIs, unless i mess up real bad, cuz i'll be needing more than 7.20 to be setting up my case, regarding the fact i'm a newbie prime minister. stating that the motion should stand is how i close my speech because that's what i want. that's what i do, cuz yes i'm a prime minister.

i can lead the government, but be careful i can also be the leader of opposition. i'll always be the first to mock the government for believing in the status quo. i'll come up with something contradictive to the government. rebuttals, stances and arguments those're what i'll come up with. who knows i might challenge your definition! so watch your back. i can do counter-cases in minutes, i can deal with any definitions no matter how bizarre they might be, i'll point out your mistakes, i'll tackle your points. oh yes i do the best i can to emit those things :p oh beware governors! i'm here to oppose you.

oh yes i'm the first speaker. and though i think i'll be trying a new position next time, i will never forget my true nature as a first speaker. i'm not yet good, i'm evergrowing still. but don't let your guards down, i promise i'll do better. i'll work harder for the sake of betterment, no matter which side i'm standing on. pros and cons, no matter what you are i'll be there to be speaking firstly of you. and i hope i speak good so you'll be delivered crystal clear to the nice adjudicators i'm trying to convince. i'll elaborate you clearly, not merely circling, no fear upon taking POIs, understanding you completely, and of course delivering you in a not-so-fast way of talking :-) with my wrecked notes of you, i'll be ready to stand up and speak in a good manner and am secretly crossing my fingers in my effort of reading my own notes :p

oh yes i'm a first speaker, and i'm evergrowing still. working my ass off to be stronger and better, until i'm decent there's no time to chill!

hearhear!

-Gabriel. Charlotte, a first speaker a.k.a anak cacat -_-

i have no idea why i'm writing like this. bonjour!

British Parliamentary Debate

2010-02-25T17:11:00.005+07:00

okeokeoke mau cerita tentang BP. ceritanya gara-gara kemaren abis NEO yang pake format BP jadi agak enlightened dan agak waw dan jadi agak gak ketakutan lagi kalo debat pake format BP. okay let's compare then. Asian Parliamentary style of debating consists of 3 persons in each team. there are 2 teams debating in each chamber/debates. one team as the government (positive, pro) and opposition (negative, con) hem apelagi ye. okay ya intinya gitu, and in the end, one team will receive victory and the other will simply lose the debate. in this style, the main concern is of course the points you brought up and maybe well the opponent's points of arguments you manage to tackle or destroyyyy! OYEAH I JUST RECALLED ONE MORE FUNDAMENTAL THING: casebuilding time is 30 minutes. and believe me it'd feel so fast, like only 5 minutes when you're building your case,other words, finding a damn strong argument. well don't emphasize on the strong first -_- just finding a single argument and then to just elaborate 'em, that's just devastating sometimes -_- okaaaaaaaaaaaaay going to BP. kay, see this is quite a different set of game. within each debate, you'll find 4 teams inside a chamber, debating. yes, i'm not that dimwit, in case you don't believe me. 4 teams of debaters. hell. and 2 people per team, yes two. two is better than one, huh? -_- what else hem oyea so there are 2 teams on the government bench (2 are pro to the motion) and 2 teams on the opposition bench (2 are con to the motion) so they're called opening government, opening opposition, closing government, and closing opposition. the tricky part is, only one will receive absolute victory. so the result will come out in rankings. if you're in the first rank, you'll get 3 victory points (VP), 2nd rank'll get 2 VPs, 3rd rank'll get 1 VP, 4th rank got NADA. in this thingy, main concern's whether each speaker has fulfilled their roles, and whether each team is solid, and whether you are contributive to the debate. jadi kea kalo misalnya lo udah gak nyambung ama debatnya, well that's the end of you -_- but the thing is, based on my coach, you HAVE to be distinct with the other teams. tapi kea bedanya tuh gak beda yang bener bener gak nyambung ama debatnya, but you have to look outstanding! nah yoooo bingung kan? gue juga -_- gue waktu BP sih bodo bodo amet ye yang penting gue nemu argumen yaoloh masalahnya gini ya kalo misalnya dapet posisi closing, you must find an extension, or an argument DIFFERENT from your opening. tapi kea, ginideh kalo di opening itu biasanya argumen yang general tuh udah taken semuaaaaaaa jeng jeng ces! and apparently for me, i've only ever felt being in the opening for 3 times only if i'm not mistaken and the rest, closing. jeng jeeeng. jadi kea stres sendiri gedow kalo closing. you'd be like betting and you won't always be safe, cuz your opening might've taken your argument and that would be valid cuz why, first: you both aren't a team eventhough you're from the same bench, second: each team would want to win by bringin up good arguments hhhhhhhhhhh life is wonderful. and for the fundamental thing i refer as casebuilding? the time for casebuildinng in bp debates is only 15 friggin minutes. so technically you're gonna have to rush to your chambers, god knows if you know the exact location of your chamber in which you're gonna debate, while actually casebuilding with your teammate. different with asians, where you can just strive and think with your own thoughts and finally when you reach your chamber, then you can just officially start casebuilding with your 2 teammates.

but heck those comparisons, it's debate. a nice thing to do. i mean in bp or even asians , when you just don't know what you're gonna bring up when it's your speech-time, you'll know (believe me i've done that). seriously, how freaky it sounds, it won't be as soon as you've tried it. personally i freaked out when i heard about this BP championship held by Binus, NEO. i freaked out i thought i'd be utterly speechless and embarassing and nervous as hell. it turns out no. debating in BP style is seriously challenging, adrenaline-rush-ing, and inevitably fun. no less fun than asians! seriously, and now i can't wait to debate in asian style, to actually convert from BP habits and see if it can be implemented in asians. hopefully, the rush hour habit of BP casebuilding can bring significant betterment to my asian parliamentary casebuilding which i believe will improve my speeches (amen hearhear) wahakakhka seeya bloggies!

"debating ruined my life. i'm no longer an ignorant daft."
:p

Kryptonite

2010-02-15T22:14:00.004+07:00

from the very second baby i already knew
i'll end up head over heels in love with you
turns out i'm right
couldn't tell if you were feeling what i felt for you
so i nonchalantly tried to play it cool
i'm tired of lying

but i get lost when i look in your eyes
cause my love is so hard to disguise

baby i can't help this feeling
it's a fight that i know i can't win
there's nothing i can do
so i'm giving up tonight
cause baby you're my kryptonite

cause i can't stop thinking of you
i'll be trying not to love you
i'm helpless girl it's true
so i'm giving up tonight
cause baby you're my kryptonite

your love is like a pendulum that's swinging from side to side
got me spell and now i can't deny
girl i'm hypnotized
cause baby it's the same tomorrow yesterday tonight
and i swear that nothing's ever felt so right
i'm yours for life

i get lost when i look in your eyes
cause my love is so hard to disguise

baby i can't help this feeling
it's a fight that i know i can't win
there's nothing i can do
so i'm giving up tonight
cause baby you're my kryptonite

cause i can't stop thinking of you
i'll be trying not to love you
i'm helpless girl it's true
so i'm giving up tonight
cause baby you're my kryptonite

i've tried so hard to let you go
but i can't escape the way i feel inside
way beyond denial that we are meant to be in love
so girl i give up, yeah

baby i can't help this feeling
it's a fight that i know i can't win
there's nothing i can do
so i'm giving up tonight
cause baby you're my kryptonite

cause i can't stop thinking of you
i'll be trying not to love you
i'm helpless girl it's true
so i'm giving up tonight
cause baby you're my kryptonite

it's my Valentine's day theme song! not that i have a boyfriend or anything. i just suppose it's nice if a guy sings this to a girl hahaha Guy Sebastian's cool! oyeah and i also like the pendulum thingy about love hahaha

Happy Valentine's Day <3

sunday's best

2010-02-15T21:27:00.003+07:00

okay what should summon up the previous sunday i just had is awkward. but in life, as awkward as it is you should just keep on going -_- it started right about when i got up. seriously, regarding the fact that the previous day i woke up at 4.18, i'm surprised to found myself waking up when the night hadn't fade, well in short, it's still dark. i don't know why i'm being like such a loser-poet now,sorry. yea well i woke up at five and i didn't really felt sleepy as i thought i would be. that's the first awkward thing. next i go to church, i gotta dance at the sermons. what happened was, i forgot to use my ballet shoes when i danced............................ so. i just used legging and topped it up with my stocking, and i danced.......... it was e-m-b-a-r-a-s-s-i-n-g. up til now i still try to forget how i felt at the time. i felt somehow numb, i can't smile like a horse like i always do when i dance. i just wanna get out of there. and one thing for sure, i didn't have the guts to look at my own feet when i stood up -_- what made me realize was the thought of why my feet was cold when i danced, and then it struck me like lightning, i DID NOT wear my ballet shoes and then my toes somehow wrinkled about and just curledddddd and tried with might to hide from sight -_- but it's just impossible so i just kept on dancing. and so by the end of the sermon i went upstairs. at first i wanted to get some rest, but then i found out that i mostly would have a nightmare if i dared to sleep, so i just kept myself awake. i read my novel, and some other random stuff.okay okay and then,i went home. WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS TRYING TO GET HOME? i got on the wrong public transportation carrrrrr (abbrev: angkot-_-) and that sucks because i've been enjoying my ride with earphones plugged. and that, once again, is embarassing -_- i just laughed eerily during my effort of finding another angkot with a clear "KR" labelled on it -_- finally when i got off it, i couldn't believe i didn't saw a puddle! AND I JUST STEPPED MY FOOT INTO IT WITH A NOT-SO-BIG-A-SPLASH but it's enough to make me realize how unfocused i was. sick. then i was picked up by bike and i threw my shoes onto the basket with hatred -_- oyea and i just recalled the fact that yesterday was Valentine's and Chinese New Year's day. so happy happy happy for those who celebrate at least one of em :-D oyeah i've been wanting to post a song, a lovely one from Guy Sebastian. but yea i'll do it later thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. gash, i'm so distracted.

song about itsy

2010-02-08T08:23:00.001+07:00

the itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.
down came the rain and washed the spider out.
out came the sun and it dried up all the rain.
and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.

kasur (dibalik-_-)

2010-02-07T22:31:00.006+07:00

OHIYA NETBOOK GUE RUSAAAAAAAAK yaampun padahal baru sebulan. separah amet gue gak bisa jaga barang yaampun semoga gak rusak beneran amin. semoga papa gak tau apa yang gue lakuin ke netbook wehehe oiya jadinya sekarang gue online pake mantan laptop. MASIH PW PARAH KANGEN BANGET LAYARNYA GEDE!

ps. masih ujan loh :-)

gnightlove

7 Januari 2010

2010-02-07T22:06:00.004+07:00

gue pasang alarm jam 07.45 karena janjian mo bikin teropong sebagai tugas fisika barengan sama x2 di mesjid muhajirin deket sekolah. emang dasar biadab kali ye, gue tidur lagi -_- tapi alarmnya ke snooze snooze mulu jadinya juga gue gak tidur full kan tapi lumayan ehehe dapet mimpi bagus trus udah gitu ujung-ujungnya gue bangun itu satu jam kemudian, 08.45. agak gak enak ama Cahya Adi karena dia udah ngontak-ngontak kan ye sementara gue masih meringkuk -_- tapi asli gue udah gak enak badan dari pagi ingus parah bet parah. udah gitu kan yaaa gue berangkat dan sampe di muha naik angkot jalan kaki hahaha nikmat. udah nyampe muha eeeh udah lumayan banyak juga ya Waspada-nya :-) trus udah kea gitu, lama lama bikin gue udah mulai yang hopeless. masalahnya Cahya Adi juga bilang dia bingung dan mukanya udah hhhhh banget lah udah kea beneran gak ngerti, padahal dia pinter -_- udah deh gue juga gak ngerti ya gimana gimana gitu pokoknya intinya itu ternyata gue nungguin Irfan. dia beli sambungan pipa pralon buat kelompok kite kan. udah deh, yang gue sempet bikin bikin buletan pake styrofoam sama Adi, trus Adi yang lawak suaranya, trus yang gue kepotong buletan styrofoamnya, yang ngukur-ngukur fokus segala macem deh pokoknya ujung-ujungnya itu ternyata intinya gue sama Adi cuman nungguin Irfan doang hhhhh mana pas dia dateng, langsung cabut ngapel pula hahaha bandel bet tu anak tapi ya gpp lah lumayan dia bawain sambungan pipa. trus udah deh abis itu gue kerjain bedua bareng Adi. tempel pel pel pel kacanya kita sumpel ke dalem sambungan pipa....................... ampe lensa kacanya kotor burem kena lem sama jari-jari kita -________- oh gawd gue udah yang hopeless parah bt gitu sempet mikir buat ke optik buat minta dibersihin (kea cuci kacamata gitu) mana gitu lemnya hedeh naujubile gak nempel-nempel tapi bekasnya banyak hahahah jadi agak kurang enak dipandang gitu trus ya kalo lo pertama kali ngeliat lewat teropong gue, pasti nyium bau lemnya deh yang kentara hahaha tapi yah bodo amski lah udah yang penting pas udah jadi gitu benda-benda jadi keliatan gede kan. YAY! trus udah deh tadinya Adi bilang kita buat kea badan teropongnya gitu pake kertas aje............... ngik. tapi kemudian ditawarin pipa-pipa pralon bekas sama anak-anak. baik baik deh :-D hahauhuah trus akirnya kelompok gue pake pipa pralon deh teropongnya ihihihih tapi tetep, lensanye yang paling burem keanya -_- trus udah deh kan bangga banget gue teropongnya jadi! haihiahaih soalnya tuh ya dari kemaren tuh anak2 yang udah kea hopeless gitu yaampun nyari lensa dimanaaa, nyari pralon dimanaaa pokoknya udah nyaris gak niat bikin yaampun tapi akirnya jadi juga deh sekelas, bikinnya bareng pula :-D semoga Pak Amor seneng dah tuh ngak. trus udah deh abis itu gue gereja kan huahuhau gereja juga gimana gitu tadi trus abis itu gue keramas di salon (-__-) abis itu............................ gue makan di Pizza Hut ampe jam 5 sorean! apa yang gue lakuin? baca Freefall. YES AKIRNYA WILL KETEMU BOKAPNYE! nikmat bener deh tadi gue baca novelnya seneng trus udah deh ampe rumah agak gempor ye emang. niatnya mo bikin pr tapi gak jadi deh ah gue ngias itu deh teropong hihihi badan teropongnya gue lapisin kertas gambar bintang-bintang yang kea orang gipsy gipsy peramal gitu, bintangnya kuning terang backgroundnya sok sok biru item gelap gitu, padahal Adi requestnya pake sayap...............................................zt mending gue lipetin origami burung deh tuh sayap-sayap juga kan -_- trus juga aaaaaah gitu deh agak bangga sendiri gue jadinya ama diri sendiri beserta teropong HAHAHAHAHA yaudah gitu doang sih hem dan sekarang gue keanya sakit yang gak enak badan huhuhuh hope things'll get better. AND LOOK&LISTEN! IT'S RAINING! thanks God for today :-D

God bless.

(what a) sick list

2010-02-02T23:58:00.003+07:00

irresistible things or stuff that makes an eye-candy of a guy is:

1. when he wears a tuxedo

2. when he wears a simple pair of black converse shoes

3. when he's enjoying his music through earphones

4. when he wears a loose tie (along with his uniform or shirt)

5. when he stands or simply rushes through the rain

6. when he shouts like a tough leader

7. when he plays one musical instrument like a pro

8. when he wears cardigans

9. when he lets out his wittiness (it shows from his gesture and the way he talks)

10. when he doesn't care about his surroundings and simply carries on with what he's doing

11. when he wears braces

12. when he leans against the wall in a very comfortable position

13. when he puts his hands inside his uniform pocket

14. when he smiles his crooked smile and how it brings something different in his eyes

wrong foot

2010-02-01T21:58:00.004+07:00

cuman mo cerita dikit aja kok. itung-itung pengalaman supaya lo juga gak sembarangan jalan kalo lagi gelap ato cahaya lagi remang-remang (padahal di dalem rumah).

jadi gini tadi gue mo keluar kan mo ke gudang kan, mo nyari cotton bud (okay you must be wondering why on earth i was going to wander for a cotton bud in a storage room-_- but yeah i never got there eventually though, so, yeah, just drop it-_-). trus jalan ke situ itu agak gelap gitu karena emang gak ada lampu. penerangan terdekat juga gak cukup buat nerangin jalan gue yang kea bright bright gimana gitu kan yaudah gue jalan. lagian gue afal elah jalannya lima langkah doang nyampe. tapi ya udah gitu, during my first steps. gue ngerasa nginjek sesuatu yang empuk aduh kea empuk-empuk slimy slimy berlendirnya hewan gimana sih gitu kan? nah sumfe pertama kali gue kira itu apaan kek gitu ye kertas kek apa gitu, kan biasanya berantakan gitukan terus pas gue ngelangkah lagi, jah kok masih ada itu kea ada sesuatu yang gue injek? eh yaampun trus langsung deh gue loncat-loncat yang kea, ngangkat kaki setinggi mungkin gak mau nginjek lante sama sekali. trus langsung gue gak jadi masuk ke gudang gue langsung keluar dari rute menuju gudang. gue ke titik aman, ruang makan. trus langsung trauma, lari ngibrit ke kamar sambil teriak-teriakin Mbak Nisa kalo gue abis nginjek tikus kecil, karena seriusan tadi gue ngeliat kea bayangan kecil item gitu dan kea aaah udah berimajinasi lah gue itu ada bulu-bulu and lalalanya -__- yaudah kan gue ke kamar lagi oiya sebelomnya, gue nyuci kaki dulu, takut kena virus gitu gitu yaampun yang kencing tikus ato apalah gitu hii udah parno gue. trus udah kenain sabun dikit udah deh lanjut gue ke kamar kan netbook-an lagi. trus udah selang beberapa waktu kemudian, Mbak Nisa masuk dengan breaking news -_- kalo tadi yang gue injek itu adalah cicak, bukan tikus. terus, lante yang tadi bekas gue nginjek tu cicak naas, udah berlumuran darah cicak (dan gue shock pas denger ini karena perasaan tadi gue nginjek gak keras karena elah gue jijik juga kali nginjek begituan dan parno gue (ato tadi gara-gara gue loncat-loncat ye? -_-)). trusssssssssss (ini yang bikin gue jadi percaya ama kebenaran ilmu biologi), Mbak Nisa bilang kalo buntut cicaknya putus dan cicaknya masih idup. selamat deh ye Gep yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

yaudah that's all. gue mau makan famous amos yay! oyeah and check out my tumblr for some refreshment guys hahaha i reblogged a lot! :-D

my daily

2010-01-31T21:44:00.003+07:00

what my clinging headphones and not-so-clear netbook speaker have been singing out to my ears recently and oh so oftenly, oh and some recent lovable songs i downloaded:

1. Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble

2. Perfect by Simple Plan

3. Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz

4. The Object Of My Affection by Mocca

5. This Conversation by Mocca

6. Baby I'm A Fool by Melody Gardot

7. Perih by Vierra

8. Mad by Ne-Yo

9. Happy by Mocca

10. Air dan Api by Naif

11. Thunder by Boys Like Girls

12. Kryptonite by Guy Sebastian

13. Galih dan Ratna by D' Cinnamons

and one sweet song from Glen Fredly, Sedih Tak Berujung. wokoko

with you

2010-01-31T17:21:00.003+07:00

i'll be there when the world stops turning
i'll be there when the storm is through
in the end, i wanna be standing at the beginning with you

Justin Bibah and other random jumpy thoughts

2010-01-27T19:38:00.006+07:00

hey sorry i'm feeling jumpy. my mind's been wondering and thinking thoughts so random i can't keep up -_- so i'll just start where it left off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRaW BUKA!!!!!!!

okeh ini amat sangat cukup sedikit lumayan telat emang ya. masalahnya gini waktu awal-awal gue tau Justin Bieber (itupun juga telat parah -_-) kata Hana dia tuh biasa aja cuman ya standarnya cool young teenage artist who's got the so-called golden face, gorgeous hair and cute babyface. and so it all went yeah-yeah so-so in my head. lagian setelah gue liat sekilas juga mukanya juga yah kul lah tapi yang bikin ngefans emang rambutnya. dan berselang satu semester kemudian, yaitu baru hari selasa yang lalu ini, Ririn ngebuka video dia (yang gue link) lagi akustik One Time. jinxxxxxxxxxxx ganteng! kul gitu yaoloh dia keren main gitar gitu terus rambutnya berkibar-kibar gitu deh pas dia kibasin itu kuuuul aaaaaa gue ama Hana ama Ririn yang tadinya kea nge-blacklist dia jadinya malah demen kan tuh kan kan kan kan tapi yah gak dosa juga kan ya naksir ama cowok ganteng. after sometime of hearing the song, i somehow like One Time juga. liriknya sangat-sangat menyenangkan untuk di-recite berulang ulang kali ampe mabok hahahha udah tau tau deh kalo misalnya gak ada apa-apa gitu tau tau ngomong 'your world is my world my fight is your fight' lalala gitu apalagi si Dito juga demen noh HAHAHAH nyanyi-nyanyi deh gue di kelas ya ama Dito Hana hahaha tapi ya i somehow think Justin Bieber's too young for what he's doing now. kea apa ya. lagunya sweet emang, tapi apayah? gak sreg aja ama gaya dan muka dia. regarding the fact he's only 15 (iyagak sih 15?). to be frank, i rrrrrrrrreally adore his hair. THE WAY IT FLAPS AAAA lah kok flaps yah ngertilah kea berkibas gitu (liat di videonya) keren kok tapi. his voice is nice, but i somehow dislike his face -_- emang babyface, tapi gak demen aja tapi ganteng yah begitulah kea kalo diliat dari deket, mukanya menurut gue agak aneh -_- yaudadeh wokokeke that's all about Justin Bibah.

okay then recently, my mind's been wondering everywhere. but i am fairly in love with my class, x-2. dix deux. ten two. hahahaha nama kelas kita WASPADA. abbreviation of Warga Sepuluh Dua. hahahah despite each of our own personal down sides, i believe this class will be hard for us to forget. personally, this class has left its own mark on me. apalagi semenjak semester 2, kelas kita udah gak moving lagi hahaha gaktau kenapa sejak 2 minggu lalu ada aja yang bisa buat ngakak di x2. dari belalang terbang dalem kelas, tebakan freak batman superman ayam, MAINAN SLIDE HAHAHA, nonton dvd, denger lagu, NGELIATIN FOTO-FOTO hahahaha aduh kemaren yaampun jadi kan gaktau gimana lagi pada ngebuka foto gitu kan yang waktu x2 ikut lomba UTS (sedih gue gak ada). trus ada foto yang scandalous banget antara Kara ama Darwin HAHAHHAA dan itu langsung kita jadiin Desktop. 10 menitan lebih kali ngakak gara-gara tu foto. aduh parah banget parah foto-fotonya. aduh bener deh sayang x2 susah dijelasinnya. this class' starting to grow on me. pw aja gaktau deh ama x2 hahaha bener-bener bawa seneng banget apalagi kita lagi jaman2nya susah bareng-bareng nih di 81 tugas numpuk, beberapa guru yang lalala, pelajaran yang super uber lalala parah hmmm tapi ya all in all gue suka x2. anak2nya pinter-pinter, suportifffff! dan yang pasti, jago ngelawak. seneng rasanya ketawa, ketawa yang lepas ampe teriak-teriak gitu rame-rame ama si rusuh-rusuh hahaha bener deh. asal nyeletuk aja, ngakak. dikit-dikit, ketawa. kalo ngegaring, dicak-cakin, ujungnya ketawa. dasar anak-anak pinter emang hahaha i'm lucky enough to ever know these kinds of people in my life. loveyouwaspada! semangat LTUB ya :-D oiya mo cerita dikit pas LTUB. baru latian 2 kali tapi gue udah lumayan enjoy latiannya hahahah lawak banget deh ketawa-ketawa hahaha si Dito Hasbi ama Adi kea calon DanPas gitulah ya yang teriak2 gitu kan. HAHAHAH pas aba aba untuk hitung, si Dito udah diwanti-wanti untuk teriak kenceng kan, tapi suaranya kalah ama Hasbi gitu! pokoknya kurang kenceng deh. eh pas udahan, Dito disuruh kakak-kakaknya untuk teriak "anjing!" EEEEEH GILIRAN BEGITU DIA MALAH KENCENG! RYANHAR JUGA! HAHAHAH lawak lah lawak ngakhakhakh banyak banget bits of fun but they're too precious moments i can't retell. i guess a moment only lives once, and we can only bear in mind that it once happened. mana gitu hem apalagi ya gue mau cerita oiya i miss debate. i miss the life in it, the liveliness. kea, apa ya? susah jelasinnya. kea, things are starting to also change in it. the people, the dynamic of it, the flow of it. it somehow kinda freeze for me. gaktau nih huhuhu bener-bener kemakan waktu kali ya ama kegiatan sekolah yang apabanget -_- tapi beneran gak pake boong kangen banget debat. gak usah debatnya deh, latiannya aja, ketemu Ka Teddy Ka Bryan, ngumpul anak-anak EC, ngegosip segala macem kangen deh huhuhuhu nearing the end of the schoolyear, will there at least be some more chance for me to feel the utter excitement i used to feel about it? lately, i reminisce about it. i even remembered about the speeches i used to deliver during elementary (PERSONAL INTRODUCTION HAHAHA) and secondary school (FOREST DESTRUCTION SPEEEEECH! I MISS HOW I ALWAYS RECITE YOU EVERY NIGHT SO THAT I CAN SPEAK IN EXACT 5 MINUTES! AND IT TURNED OUT I DID!!!! ON D-DAY :') )hahahah freak emang. gaktau kenapa i like speaking in english. i can't define any premise about it. evenmore, i found another channel related to it in debate aaaaaaaaaaaa what a life! i'm grateful i've ever at least encountered what i've encountered in my life. and for some time in the future, i hope the upcoming events i am to see to are not bad. seriously, i'm tired of school -_- i just wanna watch dvds in class. grudge, paranormal activity or whatever. by the way i'm somehow quite fed up with those horror movies........ yes i admit, i close my eyes literally during those 2 movies eventhough the sounds are off -_-, but well yeah I WANT ANOTHER GENRE TO BE WATCHED IN CLASS SO I'M BRINGING MY DVDS TOMORROW since the word spread today that our biology teacher won't attend tomorrow's meeting!!!!!! she's gonna go somewhere i don't know but she's gonna buy something for my class' fertilizer project. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY *sarcasm detected -_- ah well i'm getting freaky by the moment, I'M HAVING FRENCH SPEAKING TEST TOMORROW NYAHAHAHHAAHA okay then sorry if i wasted your time reading this irrelevant post. (OIYA I HAD A NEW PAIR OF GLASSES MADE YESTERDAY! bener-bener setengah jam kali ye gue milih frame -_- dari yang warna merah biru item putih ampe yang gagangnya bisa fleksibel -_- trus gue udah ambil warna biru kan dan gue bawa ke kasir, trus tau-tau gue balik lagi ke stand kacamatanya dan ngambil yang warna item gitu trus bentuknya agak nyeleneh gitu dan begonya gue sempet foto-foto dengan beberapa kacamata, berdalih bahwa kacamata itu harus proporsional dengan bentuk muka gue -____- au ah yang penting warnanya item dan bentuknya "menyerupai" persegi panjang................. yay!)

Bonsoir

some sudden mental breakdown

2010-01-23T17:38:00.002+07:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapaan banget sih gue? hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

:'(

blank

2010-01-23T01:28:00.009+07:00

okay, to begin with, i never kinda expected my high school life to become like this. like what? itu dia. gue gaktau kea apa. kea udah gitu doang,kea nothing so significantly special. paradigma orang-orang tentang masa-masa yang paling gak bisa dilupain lalala capeklah gue denger gituan makan ati sendiri, yang ada masa-masa belajar yang apa banget. i can't deny i found some new things in high school, new (extreme!) friends hahaha but well yeah, tetep aja ada yang gimana gitulah di sekolah baru gue ini. tuh kan masih gue katain baru, padahal udah 6 bulanan tapi tetep aja masih gimana gitulah beneran deh bukannya gimana gimananya gitu tapi kea guru-gurunya pelajarannya bener-bener gak banget! gue juga gak ngerti aja gitu. gak bangetnya dimana yah? tapi gini deh pelajarannya gue gak ngerti! kea yang guru-gurunya bener bener ngejelasin sedemikian rupa sehingga bikin gue malah gak ngerti! kalo nanya, gak enak atopun takut dimarain lagi kan hhhhhhh yah bergantunglah gue ama temen2 gue wehehehe. tugas bejibun gak kenal ampun dan tugasnya yang freak freak apa banget beneran deh gak boong. beneran deh, beberapa pelajaran, tugasnya gak banget parah! dari kelas 1, bawaannya di otak tuh mikirin penjurusan mikirin penjurusan stres stres-an mikirin kuliah mikirin kuliah mikirin kuliah. i mean, wth? oke fine emang ya harus mikirin kuliah dan lalala tetek-bengeknya gitu. tapi gue pengennya tuh gak se-ngebebanin kea gue sekarang begini, yang ada gue capek. apa ini emang guenye aje ye? kea idup juga udah gitu doang kurang ada nikmatnya. gak balance. ahhhhhhhhhh capekkkkkkkkkk.

"tapi harus tetap semangat"

-yel-yel Emerald 2012

(semoga aja dalam waktu sedekaaaaaat mungkin beneran bisa berubah)

used to

2010-01-17T02:51:00.004+07:00

things i thought i loved doing, turns out now to only be the things i used to do. guess i'm becoming even more of a human, a more complexed being who's evergrowing, developing, and both unconsciously yet inevitably changing (physically and mentally, i hope), though there's still some part which remains quite the same to me, personally. for now, there's just one thing i particularly love and i hope it will be something i'll always enjoy doing and never get tired or bored of. at least this one should last.