have officially got on board of the last stage of formal-education-in-uniform. have i made the most of it? diverged responses pop up in my brain. there are 'yes'-es, 'no'-s, and 'yes, but i want more'-s! truth is, i don't think in the long run we should really care that much about what happens in high school. but, in contradiction to myself, i for one always stood up for the necessity of the present. i guess, for me, it's all about inclinations. i can't deny my wanting to go to worlds, i can't deny my wanting to be at the top of my class. is it pure human nature or is it just me? i sometimes find this heart-sickening, to have this altruistic motive: to be nice to everyone, to make everyone better off by my existence. while at the same time i can't deny how my own personal ambitions and goals and perspective rejects the very idea................
but yeah. topic. am ineffectively using words now.
i miss debating and i'm sick of how my current life's retracting me from it. it wears me off, those people who gives me the slightest hint that i should give it up. why can't people i'm fond of share the same interest like, forever? why should there even be all this friggin pressure of being a third grader?? for crapsake can these people just give us a break? make the learning process more fun? damn that educational institution, with all its obsolete educational workers and disdainful attributes. ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhope i'm done with it, fastest way possible
